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Writing Samples
Band 5

Government spend millions of dollars esch years on their space programms. most recently , Mars is the focus of scientists' attention . some people think thi money would be better spend on dealing with problems closer to home. do you agree or disagree ?

#government #millions #dollars #esch #years #space #programms #focus #scientists #attention #people #thi #money #home
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Nowadays,
Space
Add an article
the Space
show examples
 programme is a sign of developed countries. These governments addicted a large portion of their annual budget to
this
 kind of research. In the following
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
my point of view regarding
this
 matter ,
furthermore
, in the end, I will summarize some recommendations about who I think should spend
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 on
space
 matters.
First
 of all, I completely agree with
this
 argument that every government should spend
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to
helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 and
feeding
Wrong verb form
feed
show examples
their people
instead
 of
for example
 on finding life on Mars. The authorities should put their citizen's comfort and welfare,
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
first
 priority and
then
 focus on exploring
unknown
Correct article usage
the unknown
show examples
 universe out there.
However
, some of them are so selfish that do not think and feel like me.
Although
, I believe that in our modern
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 while everything become more technological , each country that
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 out more about
scientific
Add an article
the scientific
a scientific
show examples
 issue is more powerful than the others. For
Correct your spelling
instance
instane
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,instane
show examples
 a country with bigger
laboratory
Fix the agreement mistake
laboratories
show examples
, more universities, a higher rank in producing knowledge and investing more capital in
space
 exploration no doubt is a developed one .
Therefore
, I disagree with those
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are against
space
 programmes. In conclusion, I highly recommend that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
outsourcing
Wrong verb form
outsource
show examples
 these kinds of projects to NGOs,
for example
 in the USA , Ilan Mask is a very rich man who is trying to send a
space ship
Correct your spelling
spaceship
show examples
 to Mars and with his
wealth
Add a comma
,wealth
show examples
this
 dream is so close.
Moreover
, he is helping his nation,
Correct word choice
and his
show examples
his
Correct word choice
and his
show examples
 country
also
 does not spend more than necessary for
this
 matter.
Submitted by narges.nasrollahzade on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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