IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In many countries, the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing why is this happening? What will be effects of it on the family and society.

#countries #tradition #families #meals #effects #society
Nowadays, people follow their unlimited goals by skipping their food with family members as their busy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. I suppose that it has so many drawbacks than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
benefits. Write more than 250 words.
Firstly
, having breakfast or dinner with relatives is a significant part of the day in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Asian
Add an article
the Asian
show examples
 countries and it is a part of their culture and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tradition. But, It is dropping out from our daily rituals while affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our mental and physical health.
Secondly
, as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees
Add an article
the employees
show examples
 have to work more than eight hours or night time to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough wealth for their basic needs, so, it causes to break up the relationships as well as cooperation among the family members. Not only that but
also
 these restless
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 make a habit of eating junk foods and having quick snacks.
Moreover
, at present, increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number of isolated people as their lovers,
children
Correct word choice
and children
show examples
far
Add a missing verb
are far
show examples
 away from them.
This
 reason
also
 affects to disappear the taking
cusines
Correct your spelling
cuisine
 together.
Nevertheless
,
rapid
Change the word
rapidly
show examples
 growing technology
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking meals cooperatively.
On the other hand
, breaking down of eating with families caused to build up so many social
promblems
Correct your spelling
problems
 as well as it was harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
also
.
As a result
 of eating fast food, makes so many health problems
such
 as diabetes, obesity, gastritis, etc.
Furthermore
,
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
 suffer from mental troubles as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 haven't good connection with relatives as they have their food
indiviually
Correct your spelling
individually
.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
, they may be suffered from
longliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
, depression overemotional, etc. The bonds between
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 and the youngsters affect
widly
Correct your spelling
widely
 and negatively from that as they
addict
Add a missing verb
are addict
show examples
 to using
navel
Correct your spelling
novel
show examples
 technical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and live
lone
Correct your spelling
alone
show examples
 in a foreign country for their higher studies or career.
Finally
, these difficulties may cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increasing cases in Europe countries. To sum up, I think that trying different types of foods with your
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to
Add an article
the growth
show examples
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 of family bond, while maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental well-being indeed of continuing stressful mind.
Submitted by kavindianjalee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: