the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. summerize the information where relevant write at least 150 words

The chart illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how many
hours
married men and
women
worked in paid employment
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
on the other hand
how many
hours
they worked in
unpaid
Add an article
an unpaid
the unpaid
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
at
home
. As the graph clearly demonstrates, men between the age of 24-44 when they married
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
worked out of the
home
much more than
women
, and it is more common for wives to stay at
home
and
for example
take care of their children than their husbands.
Although
,
this
pattern
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
just happened for
these two gender
Change the determiner
this two gender
these two genders
show examples
in ages 45-64 too. Based on the chart result,
mans
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
prefer to work where
except
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
significantly more than
women
in that age range. More than 7
hours
a man during his 20th until 40th spend time in companies and
this
amount of
hours
is considerably fewer in
women
about what they are doing at
home
. To sum up, as the chart shows, husbands spend at least 5
hours
out of the
home
to work and
instead
wives work at
home
,
for instance
,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
cleaning , cooking or other things for at least 3
hours
.
Submitted by narges.nasrollahzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: