IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

#museums #sites #tourists #people #case #visit #places
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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether both historical
sites
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 and
museums
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 are primarily visited by tourists rather than locals.
This
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 essay is devoted to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalently far-reaching solutions to
this
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 severe problem. Without a shadow of a doubt, there are a wealth of reasons why
museums
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 are frequently visited by
travelers
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travellers
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. Because tourists tend to go to places that they have never been to
,
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apply
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 so that they can have a better understanding of local cultures and arts.
For example
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, most people living in Hanoi often feel the atmosphere is suffocating, life is busy and they feel extremely exhausted but foreigners often come to Hanoi to travel because they love the beauty of the culture,
explore
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and explore
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 everything around them.
Therefore
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,
travelers
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travellers
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 frequently
visit
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museums
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 because they wish to learn new things.
While
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 the importance of the underlying reasons is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if that of the far-reaching solution is ignored. The government should
put
Verb problem
pay
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 a lot of attention to addressing
this
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 grave issue by arranging appeal exhibits or programs at these
sites
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.
For example
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, to ignite the attention and interest of the inhabitants and entice them to
visit
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 these areas, some recreational competitions ought to be arranged.
Moreover
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, reduce entrance costs or provide locals with discounted tickets to entice them to
visit
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 these historical
sites
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.
Thus
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, there are a bunch of ways to entice residents to
visit
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 historical
sites
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 and
museums
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.
To sum up
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, there is no doubt that many tourists
visit
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museums
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 throughout the world, but there are numerous ways to draw locals as well.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
The essay doesn't fully address the prompt and lacks clear, comprehensive ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is unclear and the introduction and conclusion are not fully present. The ideas lack coherence and are not well-connected.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but the vocabulary is not used effectively to express and connect ideas.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and there are errors in sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Take for granted
  • Economical constraints
  • Routine obligations
  • Programming
  • Cater
  • Engagement
  • Community involvement
  • Personal connection
  • Cultural relevance
  • Discounts
  • Sense of ownership
  • Interactive exhibits
  • Local traditions
  • Field trips
  • Cultural bond
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