IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days

#bar #percentage #people #cinemas #european #country
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The given column graph demonstrates the proportion of people visiting a
cinema
Use synonyms
 during the different weekdays in one of the European countries from 2007
2003
Change preposition
to 2003
show examples
 Overall, it is clear from the diagram that residents of
this
Linking Words
 country are used to going to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 at the end of the week.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the number of visitors to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the week is significantly less. It can be seen that
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance peaked on Saturdays
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40% 45% and in 2003, 2005 and 2007 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
fridays
Change the capitalization
Fridays
Friday
show examples
 and
sundays
Change the capitalization
Sundays
show examples
 were not less than 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in all three periods. As for the beginning of the
week
Add a comma
,week
show examples
 all period figures are less than 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Especially on
mondays
Change the capitalization
Mondays
show examples
 and
thursdays
Change the capitalization
Thursdays
show examples
,
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
cinema
Use synonyms
 visitors is less than 15%. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 country prefer to go to the
cinema
Use synonyms
 on Tuesday than on
monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
show examples
.
Submitted by DaVLaTBeK on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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