IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do agree or disagree?

#governments #places
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Smoking is well-determined documentation the health issues. In recent years, the increasing number of smokers which leads to many detrimental effects. Some
people
Use synonyms
 concur that smoking should be banned in all public
places
Use synonyms
.
However
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, I quibble with them and propound that the statement appears to be more rational. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the beneficial aspect of
this
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 trend and
thus
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 lead to a logical conclusion. There is adequate evidence obtainable to substantiate
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
. The top-notch concrete reason is smoking
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only
Change preposition
for
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smokers but
also
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 affects non-smokers who have decided to live healthy lifestyles. Another rationale which hauls me to patron is children are tempted to see other
people
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 smoking in public
places
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. In the past years, the government didn't take an action effectively.
As a result
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, more than 65% of teenagers are smokers around the globe.
However
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, the world has witnessed that living in a democratic country, every
people
Use synonyms
 have the right to be what they
want
Correct word choice
or want
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 in their life.
Instead
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 of banning smoking in all public
places
Use synonyms
, the government should invest some budget to build
Add an article
a
the
show examples
smoking
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 in private spaces.
Moreover
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, the government should impose strict punishments against
people
Use synonyms
 who do smoking in public
places
Use synonyms
. A recent survey conducted by scientists found that ban smoking in public
places
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 reduces the death rate.
Hence
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, it's apparent that many
people
Use synonyms
 are standing in
this
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 trend. In recapitulation, I reiterate that there are innumerable strong factors supporting banning smoking to protect the citizen of the nations.
However
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, its contrary cannot be overlooked or controlled.
Consequently
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, I firmly agree with the given statement.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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