It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives

Some
people
beliebe
Correct your spelling
believe
that taking risks
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
any
decision
of
career-paths
Correct your spelling
career paths
show examples
and private
lives
can give more benefits than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will explain
people
will be more
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
reaching
Change preposition
in reaching
show examples
their goals
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
the fact that
people
can be wiser and have more experiences rather than comfortable in their zone.
To begin
with, humans have
desire
Correct article usage
a desire
show examples
to achieve their purposes. It cannot prevent them
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
some obstacles ahead. Certain
people
will take all opportunities
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they have and they understand the upcoming risks.
This
situation triggers their analytical thinking to solve the problem in their office. The more challenging situation they experience, the wiser and braver they are because the
risk takers
Add a hyphen
risk-takers
show examples
have some perspectives and
eager
Add a missing verb
are eager
show examples
to tackle and give solutions. It
also
gives them
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
faster than their friends.
Moreover
,
For instance
, a child who is not allowed to play freely will be an
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
person and cannot adapt environment easily. By owing the fact that, that kid grows slowly and is afraid of new friends.
Thus
, parents should allow children to socialize with their mates to improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ability
of
Replace the preposition
to
show examples
survive
However
, the static
lives
will be owned by employees who
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
current jobs. Their
lives
will be
bored
Replace the word
boring
show examples
causing mental health
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
. Those workers cannot get promoted and increase their income because the employer assessed that they are not adaptive
people
. They will be given the same tasks and cannot compete
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
their mates so they will be left behind. They can be judged
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
loser
Fix the agreement mistake
losers
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
or in
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
because they cannot be a leader. Those officers will be
underpressured
Correct your spelling
under pressure
and
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
when making
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. They always consider many things and it leads to
unsolutive
Correct your spelling
resolutive
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. To sum up,
people
taking risks can obtain positive impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their work and personal
lives
such
as
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
promoted faster and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
braver because of having lots of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
to make
Add an article
a decision
the decision
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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