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Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.  What might this be the case? What could be the disadcantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case #disadcantages
There is an upward trend
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 establishing own
business
 and reaching financial freedom,
respectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
. It can be seen that some people try to
undersdant
Correct your spelling
understand
 the background of
this
 idea and figure out the possible bad sides of
this
 mentality. In fact, creating a new kind of
a
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apply
show examples
profession or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work to serve society has a huge amount of risk due to the posibilities of lack of experience and financial crises.
This
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
directly
Add a missing verb
is directly
show examples
 connected with getting
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 and having
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of knowledge in a particular field. A direct result
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
in
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of
show examples
 the founders' practical skills. It can be assumed that these creators of firms, would have just theoric knowledge.
For instance
, to be
a
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an
show examples
 official lawyer in Turkey, people should obey the restrictions of bars and there are some requirements seeking from
candidate
Add an article
the candidate
a candidate
show examples
 of
lawyer
Add an article
a lawyer
the lawyer
show examples
. The
first
 requirement is to do
internship
Add an article
an internship
show examples
 for a year to see how the system is working.
On the other hand
, it is
consideable
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considerable
considerably
 fact
that
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apply
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how important
network
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a network
show examples
 is. Most of the
time
 we can observe that lawyers just establish their firms without
have
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having
show examples
 any strong team due to
this
 problem, it
is seem
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seems
show examples
 that huge law firms suffer
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from them
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sharply. These are just two points out of many that should be demonstrated while creating a new
business
. Yes, the points mentioned above offer strong arguments but
also
 include a
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 of change of having financial crises during the process we discussed. The
reasining
Correct your spelling
reasoning
remaining
 behind
this
 point is that establishing and running a new
business
 model
require
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requires
show examples
a huge investments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge investment
huge investments
show examples
.
This
 is because of the possible competition between companies.
Additionally
, there is a risk
for
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of
show examples
 wasting
time
 for a new brand's founders.
For example
, when an individual decided to run his own
business
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 he should spend
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finding clients and consumers for a while. During that
time
 might be dangerous for the risk of losing some skills
and
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apply
show examples
gained already, and forgetting some
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about a specific field of study that
learned
Add a missing verb
was learned
show examples
 in the universities. All in all, these two possible issues might
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 to process. Overall,
to choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way of career between being
founder
Add an article
a founder
the founder
show examples
 or being
employee
Add an article
an employee
show examples
 is a serious discussing point,
however
 supporting reasons and some possible risks that we
mention
Change the form of the verb
mentioned
show examples
 above
such
 as
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 level of
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 and some financial matters, suggest the correct answer to find the right route.
Submitted by guvensoynejat on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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