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Band 5

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #home #work #school #lives
It is clear that every person will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some responsibilities in his future and based on
this
 some people argue that it is better to rely on our
children
 and put some of
Add an article
the works
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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in
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on
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 their
shoulder
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shoulders
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,
However
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,However
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 others believe that they should be
by
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on
show examples
 their
on
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
on
Remove the redundancy
apply
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their leisure
time
. in
this
essay
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,essay
show examples
i
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I
show examples
 will argue both beliefs and
also
 put my own opinion. Some parents like to involve their
children
 in
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
works
 and they think it can help them to take care of their family in future and
also
 it can
leads
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lead
show examples
 to them having
a
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an
show examples
 awesome performance in their job too.
Therefore
 many mothers push their girls to help them
in
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with
show examples
 cooking.
For instance
,
japanese
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Japanese
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 mothers believe that their girls should imitate every action of
her
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their
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 mother when she is
on
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in
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 primary school and
this
 way they inherit their maternal instinct in their own lives.
On the other hand
, some parents are big fans of letting their
children
to
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apply
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be
with
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on
show examples
 their own
on
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in
show examples
 their leisure
time
 and just
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 with their friends. They argue that in
this
 method of
upbringing
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,upbringing
show examples
 if we don't push our
children
 to have other
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, they will gain the necessary
abalities
Correct your spelling
abilities
 that every child should gain at that age
instead
 of just
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 some householding
works
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work
show examples
. And my opinion is the same as the
second
 group. I think there is too much
time
 for individuals to gain
grown ups
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grown-ups
show examples
 skills but it may not be enough
time
 for every child to do the same for their primary skills like finding friends. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
Although
 involving
children
 in
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
works
 may have some good profits but it may block the natural lifestyle of a child,
Hence
 they won't have enough
time
 to improve their essential skills like finding friends.
Submitted by Aryanafraz1997 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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