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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many countries today are experiencing high levels of migration from rural areas to cities. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers.

#countries #levels #migration #areas #cities #trend #effects #city #dwellers
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 move from rural areas to urban
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
. There are numerous reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
urbanization
Use synonyms
 and it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 affects
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local residents. I will
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
explain
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 of
this
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 situation and
also
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 describe
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
 of
this
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 issue in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are manifold reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to
cities
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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 , mainly business of farming in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
.
These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
, technology has spread in all the
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
. So, mankind
replaced
Add a missing verb
was replaced
show examples
 by machinery.
As a result
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, job
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 has declined and
also
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 there are no other, job options.
Therefore
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,
urbanization
Use synonyms
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
recent
Change preposition
in recent
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 years.
Moreover
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, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
metropolitan
Add a comma
,metropolitan
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 there are numerous employment
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 higher pay
scale
Fix the agreement mistake
scales
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 to
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
. For better education,
cities
Use synonyms
 provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 superior education system.
For example
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, India is a developing country so, there are many areas
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are deprived
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education.
Hence
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, they are migrating to developed
cities
Use synonyms
.
Besides
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, developed
cities
Use synonyms
also
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 provide good health facilities.
However
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urbanization
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those folk who already
residence
Replace the word
resided
show examples
in particular
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 areas. The
compition
Correct your spelling
competition
compilation
 has been
rose
Change the verb form
rosing
rosed
show examples
 to the place
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 move.
Therefore
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, folks work hard for getting employment.
As a result
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, the ratio of unemployment would rise. One of the most serious impacts of
urbanization
Use synonyms
 is air pollution. In
cities
Use synonyms
, there is a high concentration of vehicles and industries which release harmful pollutants into the air .
Furthermore
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 has overcrowded
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 often leads to diseases. In conclusion, every situation has two sides positives and negatives. Same as
urbanization
Use synonyms
 leads plethora
benefits
Change preposition
of benefits
show examples
 for
migratent
Correct your spelling
migrant
migration
 groups. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are
also
Linking Words
 several effects on locals.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural depopulation
  • economic opportunities
  • infrastructure
  • livelihoods
  • overpopulation
  • cultural integration
  • affordability
  • public services
  • housing prices
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • cultural diversity
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • basic services
What to do next:
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