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Band 5

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#drinks #people #sugar
Nowadays, the competition in sugary drink markets is obviously increasing, and the prices of the products are
also
 reasonable. Someone agrees that cheaper cost is the decisive factor in the enormous consumption of sugary
drinks
,
therefore
 it should be risen to encourage
people
 to consume fewer carbohydrates. Personally, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement, I believe that
health
 education and awareness, as well as, healthy substitute sweeteners should be emphasised to make
people
 have less
sugar
 in their diet or choose wisely when they crave sweet
drinks
.
Health
 education should be taught more to
people
 to encourage them to have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 awareness of their
health
. They intake an immense amount of carbohydrates in each meal due to lacking comprehensive knowledge and medical concerns. If
people
 learn that high blood glucose can lead to life-threatening problems, disabilities and death
such
 as stroke, heart attack, and leg amputation from Diabetic Mellitus (DM), they may continuously control their
carbohydrates
Fix the agreement mistake
carbohydrate
show examples
 eating behaviours, and unhealthy sweetened
drinks
 may be less consumed eventually.
People
 should be encouraged more to ingest food that uses healthier
sugar
 substitutes. A prime example of these alternatives is stevia. It is a sugary plant which is free of
calorie
Fix the agreement mistake
calories
show examples
 and
sugar
. These sweet leaves are suitable for
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who control weight and blood glucose levels. Stevia-sweetened
drinks
,
instead
 of typical sugary
drinks
, could become a wise choice for anyone who
love
Change the verb form
loves
show examples
 sweetness but
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to be healthy. In conclusion, the consumption of high carbs diet leads to major diseases, disabilities and death.
Therefore
, I disagree with increasing the price of sugary products, I strongly believe that
health
 education and awareness as well as
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of healthy substitute sweeteners would be the key priorities to make
people
acknowledged
Wrong verb form
acknowledge
show examples
 and
concerns
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 more of their
health
, which could help them decrease or choose their
sugar
 intake wisely while we can remain affordable prices of sugary products.
Submitted by vollesunita on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sugary drinks, sugar-sweetened beverages, soft drinks
  • Health consequences, obesity, diabetes, dental health
  • Government intervention, public health, deterrent
  • Sin taxes, levies, fiscal policies
  • Equity, accessibility, low-income communities
  • Consumer behavior, dietary habits
  • Education campaigns, public awareness
  • Beverage industry, economic impact
  • Paternalism, autonomy, personal choice
  • Global trends, international policies
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