Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #travel #countries #information #tv #internet

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It is commonly believed that travel overseas could educate about that nation.

However

Linking Words

, others think that could

gain

Use synonyms

knowledge

Use synonyms

about other

nations

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

watching on the

television

Use synonyms

or the

internet

Use synonyms

. I strongly believe that travelling abroad could

get

Verb problem

give me

show examples

a better opportunity to

gain

Use synonyms

knowledge

Use synonyms

about other countries. To commence with, in the modern era,

people

Use synonyms

like to travel overseas

fulfil

Verb problem

apply

show examples

for work or leisure and educational

purposes

Use synonyms

Due to

Linking Words

that ,fact

people

Use synonyms

will get more benefits to

gain

Use synonyms

experience in a different culture,

Also

Linking Words

, they can

educate

Wrong verb form

be educated

show examples

about the latest technology and business environment.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some of the students

aboard

Rephrase

abroad

show examples

with education matters. Because they believe that staying and learning in another country might they could find better employment in the future.

For example

Linking Words

, in Sri Lanka many

people

Use synonyms

migrate to a complete master's degree because overseas education and experience will help them to find good employment in Sri Lanka with high salaries,

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

athe

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

migrate for work

purposes

Use synonyms

. Because they could earn a high salary and

gain

Use synonyms

the latest technology about the work.

Therefore

Linking Words

, someday when they come back home

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

seek good employment with a promotion.

Due to

Linking Words

that

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

those who are willing to

aboard

Correct your spelling

go abroad

show examples

for different

purposes

Use synonyms

could

educate

Wrong verb form

be educated

show examples

about other

nations

Use synonyms

which might lead to a better future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe those experiences they could

gain

Use synonyms

from the

television

Use synonyms

or the

internet

Use synonyms

. Because now we are living in the global village.

Then

Linking Words

everything you can seek from the

internet

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, when we watch

television

Use synonyms

we can observe many

television

Use synonyms

programs related to the other country.

Then

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

could easily learn about other

nations

Use synonyms

without

expend

Verb problem

spending

show examples

too much money. But that

knowledge

Use synonyms

is very limited rather than

gain

Use synonyms

experience

while

Linking Words

abroad in another country. In conclusion, my opinion for

people

Use synonyms

who are abroad for different

purposes

Use synonyms

could learn more information regarding other

nations

Use synonyms

' environments

rather

Rephrase

apply

show examples

than those who

gain

Use synonyms

knowledge

Use synonyms

from

television

Use synonyms

or the

Use synonyms

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

Submitted by asankabiz84 on Wed Jan 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear opinion on the issue in the introduction and conclusion

coherence cohesion

Organize the points more clearly with better transition words and cohesive devices

task achievement

Present more in-depth examples and relevant details to support the main points

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
interactions
virtual means
cultural nuances
language acquisition
problem-solving
adaptability
sustainability
virtual tours
documentaries
sophisticated
realistic representations
comprehensive understanding
financial status
carbon footprint
digital resources

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Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes? What are the solutions?