IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

All universities should have an equal number of male and female students in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #students
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The importance of
equality
Use synonyms
 was always debatable and has now become more controversial. Many people claim that it is beneficial while others reject the notion. In my, opinion the position of
equality
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 appears to be more rational. I do not agree with
this
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 stance because it is not
equality
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. Yet, it is an option of preference and choice. In
this
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, essay we will
further
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 elaborate on the positive and negative effects of
this
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 trend and
thus
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of reasons which will
further
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 explain these arguments. Though, the most preponderant fact is that individuals have a different
mindset
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mindsets
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to
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on
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 various things as
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, in my classroom majority of boys love maths but, girls like history
subject
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. On the other
hands
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hand
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,
So
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apply
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how equal the number of
men's
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men
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 and
women's
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women
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 select the same
subject
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.
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?
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 Another pivotal aspect is that if institutions are starting
this
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 method so maybe some students
fails
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fail
show examples
in
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apply
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exams due to the fact they did not like the
subject
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 and colleges pressure the students to select the
subject
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. In, addition the article published in the eminent newspaper the Times of India depicts that the drawbacks of equal numbers of gender
is
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are
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 a highly debatable topic in America and France because it is not appropriate and efficient. Though, probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems is that the learners have the right to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
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 what they learn in the future.
Besides
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, it is dependent on the background and situation
what
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that
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 pupils
select
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selected
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in
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for
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 the study.
Moreover
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, it is pertinent to mention that individuals pay
the
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a
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 massive amount of money as
a
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apply
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fees
Correct the article-noun agreement
fee
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 to institutions
to
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for
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 what they study.
Moreover
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, the survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford revealed that
the
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apply
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devloped
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developed
 countries
such
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as a result
Linking Words
 America,
Russian
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Russia
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, and China reject
this
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 notion because it is not
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
the adequate
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 strategy
to
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for
show examples
Use synonyms
equality
Correct article usage
the equality
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 of genders. According to the argument aforementioned above one can the conclusion that the drawbacks of
this
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 argument are instrumental too dire.
Submitted by naffey07 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • balanced
  • learning environment
  • opportunities
  • perspectives
  • gender stereotypes
  • fairness
  • equal opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: