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Band 5.5

All universities should have an equal number of male and female students in each subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #students
The importance of
equality
 was always debatable and has now become more controversial. Many people claim that it is beneficial while others reject the notion. In my, opinion the position of
equality
 appears to be more rational. I do not agree with
this
 stance because it is not
equality
. Yet, it is an option of preference and choice. In
this
, essay we will
further
 elaborate on the positive and negative effects of
this
 trend and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of reasons which will
further
 explain these arguments. Though, the most preponderant fact is that individuals have a different
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
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to
Change preposition
on
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 various things as
an
Correct article usage
apply
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example, in my classroom majority of boys love maths but, girls like history
subject
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
So
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how equal the number of
men's
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men
show examples
 and
women's
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women
show examples
 select the same
subject
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Another pivotal aspect is that if institutions are starting
this
 method so maybe some students
fails
Change the verb form
fail
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exams due to the fact they did not like the
subject
 and colleges pressure the students to select the
subject
. In, addition the article published in the eminent newspaper the Times of India depicts that the drawbacks of equal numbers of gender
is
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are
show examples
 a highly debatable topic in America and France because it is not appropriate and efficient. Though, probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems is that the learners have the right to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 what they learn in the future.
Besides
, it is dependent on the background and situation
what
Correct word choice
that
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 pupils
select
Change the form of the verb
selected
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in
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for
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 the study.
Moreover
, it is pertinent to mention that individuals pay
the
Correct article usage
a
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 massive amount of money as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fees
Correct the article-noun agreement
fee
show examples
 to institutions
to
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for
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 what they study.
Moreover
, the survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford revealed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
 countries
such
as a result
 America,
Russian
Correct your spelling
Russia
show examples
, and China reject
this
 notion because it is not
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
the adequate
show examples
 strategy
to
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for
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equality
Correct article usage
the equality
show examples
 of genders. According to the argument aforementioned above one can the conclusion that the drawbacks of
this
 argument are instrumental too dire.
Submitted by naffey07 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • balanced
  • learning environment
  • opportunities
  • perspectives
  • gender stereotypes
  • fairness
  • equal opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: