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The continued increase in obesity is the greatest problem faced by developed countries at the present time. What are the causes of this continued increase? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by developed countries today?

#obesity #countries #time
Most developed
state
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states
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 are facing now, the problem of
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
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 in the number of overweight
people
.
This
 problem can have multiple reasons , we will discuss some of them in
this
 essay and I personally opine
the
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on the
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 idea of the proponents.
Firstly
,
population
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the population
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 in developed society are having unhealthy
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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such
 as
,
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apply
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 eating fast food and
no
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having no
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 balanced diet.The consequence of
that is
 the growth in the number of obesity even
for
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among
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 children.
For example
,
studie
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studies
study
 shows that most young
people
 i n USA
are
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is
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 overweight because of eating junk food and they have more chances to have a heart attack in the future.
Morover
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Moreover
,
people
 are lazy to cook
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
meal
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meals
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 at home because they don't have time after a long day at work as
results
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result
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 of that they order online foodstuff.
Secoundly
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Secondly
,
population
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the population
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 in rich
countries
 are less
practicing
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practising
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 sports or they have a sedentary lifestyle,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with
people
 from poor
countries
 that live a hard life and work in some professional that need physical power like construction. As a
results
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result
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 of that the proportion of obesity is very high in developed
countries
. Nowadays, after
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
coronavuris
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,coronavuris
show examples
 most
people
 in rich
countries
 are working remotely and spend more time sitting at home without any
exercises
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exercise
show examples
. in conclusion,the
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
obisity
Correct your spelling
obesity
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased and
this
 is one of
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 problems faced by developed
countries
 at the present time, in my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 To curb
this
 problem,
people
 need to make self-aware and with the help of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, local organizations should step forward and educate society more about its bad effects.
Submitted by youssef.chamekh98 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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