IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

🔶Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. 🔸Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples.

#🔶some #people #children #uncles #aunts #grandparents #parents #🔸do
Raising
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids can be challenging. Certainly, cooperation between family members can make the entire process easier for the parents and
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for the new generation due to the variety of personalities that will aid in forming
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the mentality of the
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
. I believe in the saying ''it takes a village'', as long as it's in the best interest of the children. As many people agree, growing up in a big family has its advantages. As for myself,
this
 was the case. I grew up with all my relatives around which helped me greatly in becoming more social and open-minded to people's differences. But in order for
this
 arrangement to work, parents must have the
upper-hand
Correct your spelling
upper hand
show examples
 in the said collaboration. Shaping the values of a child is a
maticullous
Correct your spelling
meticulous
 process in which
firminess
Correct your spelling
firmness
 and kindness both hold the greatest impact. Considering each person's role in the
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
 life, grandparents are always known to be the children's comfort zone. whereas, the aunts and uncles perform the fun part of their lives. But after all, parents are the main rock to any child. In conclusion, being a parent is a full-time job. Definitely, having some
assisstant
Correct your spelling
assistance
assistant
 in parenting could be of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great help. Keeping in mind that
boundries
Correct your spelling
boundaries
 should be
sat
Correct your spelling
set
show examples
 and rules must be
obaied
Correct your spelling
obtained
obeyed
.
Submitted by hamsa.a.kandeel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: