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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some working parents believe childcare centers can provide best care for children, while others think family members like grandparents can do it better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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With
busy
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a busy
the busy
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 working schedule of
general
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the general
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 public, the topic of which is the best way of taking
care
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 of
children
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 is frequently discussed. While I agree that
childcare
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Use synonyms
centers
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centres
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 have better facilities for
children
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, I believe grandparents can
also
Linking Words
 help to contribute. On the one hand, it is no doubt that professional
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centers
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centres
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 have advantages with regard to
childcare
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all, as the organizations continue hiring qualified teachers, nurses and doctors,
children
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 can receive professional education as well as
nursying
Correct your spelling
nursing
 services.
For instance
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,
care
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Use synonyms
centers’
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centres’
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 meal schedule that
based
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are based
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 on scientific research ensures youngsters
consuming
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consume
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 all
necessary
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the necessary
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nutritions
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nutrition
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 they needed daily. It is critical for youngsters who are rapidly growing up.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, youths can learn how to socialize with other kids in the
childcare
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 place, which is an important skill when they participate in
labour
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the labour
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 market.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, receiving education and
care
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 from grandparents has certain positive impacts too. With full life experience and knowledge,
children
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 could learn more about
history
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the history
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 and
first
Linking Words
-hand life lessons from old generations which are difficult to access, but extremely valuable for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if parents could borrow grandparents’ hands, money could be saved for other activities,
such
Linking Words
 as attending sports clubs and going
for
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to
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 an oversea summer camp. In my opinion, both
childcare
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Use synonyms
centers
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centres
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 and grandparents have their unique value in terms of taking
care
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 of the
next
Linking Words
 generation. It would be ideal to leverage them both,
for instance
Linking Words
, working parents could send kids to their grandparents’ places for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 days a week or weekends while maintaining a
fix
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fixed
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 schedule of going to the
childcare
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Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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