IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
There has been a significant divergence of opinion revolving around whether
education
 can rectify
hunger
 worldwide.
However
, I tend to believe that
food
aid
 may solve
this
 issue .I firmly support the previous notion. Both sides will be discussed in
this
 essay. On the one hand,
education
 reduces poverty and boosts economic growth. Educated people are more likely to be employed to perform better jobs,
therefore
 having adequate means to support themselves and provide for their families. Statistically,
countries
 that suffer from
food
shortage
Fix the agreement mistake
shortages
show examples
 are the ones that have poor levels of
education
.
In addition
, educated people can contribute to their
countries
' development, especially in the field of agriculture. Professional farmers,
food
 manufacturers and agriculture specialists can improve a country's agricultural production, which, in turn, ensures
food
 security.
On the other hand
, in my opinion,
food
aid
 is a more practical solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 world
hunger
. Thanks to
food
aid
 people may effectively solve
hunger
,by means of simplicity and it would expend less time than a growing country’s economy.
For example
, some
countries
 already have been obtaining wheat from Kazakhstan and Ukraine in exchange for money. In
this
 way,
countries
 do not have problems with
hunger
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and spend less investment in increasing their own agriculture industry. In conclusion,
food
aid
 is a more rational method to tackle
hunger
 worldwide,than an approach that includes
education
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: