Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#countries #ages #people #drink #laws #policy

The population of

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generations have been increasing over the decades. Having a valid

age

to start drinking in some

countries

Change the article

apply

show examples

paramount while a few

countries

have not imposed solid laws for it.

This

eassy

Correct your spelling

essay

easy

will illustrate both views and give

opinion

Add an article

an opinion

show examples

in the latter part. On the one hand, the

government

of some

countries

think that there is no need to add regulations on a specific

age-group

Correct your spelling

age group

show examples

to drink because it is solely

parents’

Correct article usage

the parents’

show examples

responsibility to look after their children, not the authority.

Also

, it is a case of human rights

for

Add the comma(s)

,for

show examples

example, the

government

cannot force youngsters not to go

pubs

Change preposition

to pubs

show examples

or bars as they are not fit in appropriate

age

criteria.

Furthermore

, if more and more people purchase drinks, the economy of

countries

directly boost, which stimulate the

government

to spend more money

Change preposition

show examples

the development of significant areas

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

education and hospital.

On the other hand

, having a certain

age

for juveniles

to begin

liquor is essential in some

countries

and I completely agree with

this

notion. The reason is that children are not only immature to take

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right decision at

this

age

, but they are

also

mentally unstable to handle the consequences, which they have to face after drinking. By imposing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

strict legislation, the

government

could have

Change the word

apply

show examples

brighter adolescents who will likely make

Add an article

a contribution

show examples

contribution

Fix the agreement mistake

contributions

show examples

shape

Wrong verb form

shaping

show examples

the country in the future. To conclude, indeed

countries

can have more economical advantages if they

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

not adopted

adequate

Add an article

an adequate

the adequate

show examples

policy for

drinking

Correct article usage

the drinking

show examples

age

although

I think to keep people on

track

Add an article

the track

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

particular

age-group

Correct your spelling

age group

show examples

, legal measures

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

played a vital role.

Submitted by bhartisharma1307 on Thu Jan 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Legal drinking age
Underage drinking
Health repercussions
Addiction
Drunk-driving
Responsible drinking
Forbidden fruit
Social rituals
Public health
Safety framework
Risks of alcohol
Cultural differences

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.
In the present climate, there is a widespread agreement regarding the excessive challenges of children. While some factors such as a competitive educational environment and social media can contribute to this handicap, some solutions are going to be proposed in this essay to tackle this issue.
5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that it is helping the poor by giving them money but some people disagree. In my opinion, it depends on what type of the problem is. Money is helpful but it is a short-term solution, however, in the long run, it is not ideal. If a problem needs to be solved, the source of the problem needs to be solved.
<4
band
Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the it’s disadvantages?
In my opinion the disadvantages of this phenomenon are less much than the advantages by the reason where to live is their rights. People have rights to choose where they live, moreover supported by improved communication technology and transport will give a better impact to resolve problems to move from one place to another place
7
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others ,however, Believe that school is the place to learn this. Discussion both these views and give your own opinion.
One school of thought holds that parents should teach their offspring how to become good citizens in the future, while others believe that schools should fulfil this mission. This essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of this tendency before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion.
7
band
Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that residents of high-rise apartments feel isolated. Others think that living in these properties has a better experience of the community. I believe people would have a closer relationship with their neighbours in apartments than in houses. The following paragraphs will highlight both points of view based on my opinion and some relevant examples.

Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, people in many countries can live and work anywhere they choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the it’s disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others ,however, Believe that school is the place to learn this. Discussion both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.