Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #arts #music #drama #time #calendar

Art

subjects

such

as drama, music, acting and dancing are fundamental that enrich our lives.

Nevertheless

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of parents say schools must concentrate on teaching more academic

subjects

, like math, science, history and literature. In my view, both

art

and academic

subjects

should be taught equally.

In contrast

, academic

subjects

are more required when we get into

Remove the article

apply

show examples

higher education. Academic knowledge

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

main point in

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

world.

Consequently

, we should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

assess our academic ability which we taught from academic

subjects

, not

art

subjects

In other words

, for passing into university or high school owning educational intelligence is rather profitable .

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result, many people send their children to educational

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

for studying academic

subjects

deeply.

On the other hand

art

subjects

can improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creativity and flexibility in people.

Painting

Add an article

The painting

A painting

show examples

which

include

Change the verb form

includes

show examples

relaxing and anti-stressing effects

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

you more relaxin that's why you feel

yourself

Remove the pronoun

apply

show examples

extremely softened.

Also

, in modern

life

Add a comma

,life

show examples

most of

Add an article

the works

show examples

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

are done by robots replacing humans.

However

, in creativity people couldn't

be displace

Change the verb form

be displaced

show examples

by them. In conclusion,

art

and academic

subjects

should educate in a school's program in a balanced way.

Art

classes should be encouraged as well as academic classes.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Jan 13 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

198 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Stimulate creativity
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Emotional and social benefits
Self-expression
Cultural appreciation
Global citizenship
Balanced education
Diverse career paths
Stress reduction
Mental well-being
Talent nurturing
Substantial career opportunities
Arts-based subjects
Confidence building

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Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports, What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy with everything organized and in the correct place.

Many people like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a positive thing or a negative thing?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?