Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programs. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists attention. Some people think that this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home.
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Nowadays, exploring
space
is becoming more and more popular among developed countries
. They are ready to spend millions of dollars to collect information about stars, planets and galaxies. And another
reason, why they are ready to spend a huge amount of money is they are competing with each other, how was it between Correct word choice
Another
USA
and Correct article usage
the USA
USSR
in pastCorrect article usage
the USSR
.
They wanted to be first in Change the punctuation
?
space
and on the Moon, but what were the benefits for ordinary people and society
?
Today, the USA
finances huge companies like NASA, Space
X and Virgin Galactic to construct and launch rockets and satellites. One of them is developing space
tourism, another one is exploring planets like Mars. But, most of the citizens of the USA
think, that it is a waste of time and money that does not bring any benefits to society
. Meanwhile, the society
of the USA
has many problems
such
as unemployment, inflation and poverty. Besides
these problems
, there are also
global problems
such
as global warming, deforestation, and air pollution.
From my point of view, if developed countries
would pay attention to the problems
of the Earth, instead
of exploring Mars, it would bring more benefits than space
programs
. But why they do not do that if it is very important for people and society
? After all, governments should always take care of their people.
One of the reasons, why they do not want to do that is
solving global problems
with pollution and deforestation is not profitable like space
programs
. And solving these problems
would not rise
their level of technological development as Correct your spelling
raise
space
programs
. Only a few countries
can explore space
and construct rockets. And each of them wants to be the best
best.
In conclusion, developed Correct word choice
apply
countries
will continue financing their space
programs
instead
of solving the problems
of the Earth. Because this
is the only reason to show another country your technological developments. Although
, Earth's problems
require less money and time to solve.Submitted by ddilxanov on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the allocation of funds to space programs instead of addressing problems on Earth. However, the essay lacks a clear position on the issue, and the arguments could be more focused.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat disorganized. The introduction presents the issue but lacks a clear thesis statement. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. The essay would benefit from stronger topic sentences and a better flow of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.