Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programs. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists attention. Some people think that this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home.

#governments #millions #dollars #year #space #programs #focus #scientists #attention #people #money #home

Nowadays, exploring

space

is becoming more and more popular among developed

countries

. They are ready to spend millions of dollars to collect information about stars, planets and galaxies.

And another

Correct word choice

Another

show examples

reason, why they are ready to spend a huge amount of money is they are competing with each other, how was it between

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and

USSR

Correct article usage

the USSR

show examples

in past

Change the punctuation

show examples

They wanted to be first in

space

and on the Moon, but what were the benefits for ordinary people and

society

? Today, the

USA

finances huge companies like NASA,

Space

X and Virgin Galactic to construct and launch rockets and satellites. One of them is developing

space

tourism, another one is exploring planets like Mars. But, most of the citizens of the

USA

think, that it is a waste of time and money that does not bring any benefits to

society

. Meanwhile, the

society

of the

USA

has many

problems

such

as unemployment, inflation and poverty.

Besides

these

problems

, there are

also

global

problems

such

as global warming, deforestation, and air pollution. From my point of view, if developed

countries

would pay attention to the

problems

of the Earth,

instead

of exploring Mars, it would bring more benefits than

space

programs

. But why they do not do that if it is very important for people and

society

? After all, governments should always take care of their people. One of the reasons, why they do not want to do

that is

solving global

problems

with pollution and deforestation is not profitable like

space

programs

. And solving these

problems

would not

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

their level of technological development as

space

programs

. Only a few

countries

can explore

space

and construct rockets. And each of them wants to be the

best

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

best. In conclusion, developed

countries

will continue financing their

space

programs

instead

of solving the

problems

of the Earth. Because

this

is the only reason to show another country your technological developments.

Although

, Earth's

problems

require less money and time to solve.

Submitted by ddilxanov on Fri Jan 13 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the allocation of funds to space programs instead of addressing problems on Earth. However, the essay lacks a clear position on the issue, and the arguments could be more focused.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat disorganized. The introduction presents the issue but lacks a clear thesis statement. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. The essay would benefit from stronger topic sentences and a better flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programs. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists attention. Some people think that this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

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In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities whether they only know a few people in their area. Advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.