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Band 4.5

The proliferation of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help alleviate this problem. Other think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution.

#proliferation #cars #roads #parts #world #pollution #people #governments #money #development #transportation #systems
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
 of
cars
 as well as public
transportation
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 a great impact on our eco-system in terms of pollution. It has become
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to think of more ecological ways of
transportation
 in order to protect our planet. Considering
this
, should governments encourage
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 ecological public
transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 or single
cars
? When it comes to
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 use of
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 vehicles, people prefer
cars
 over public
trasnport
Correct your spelling
transport
. Due to the fact that
cars
 are
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
 more comfortable and faster kind of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
transport
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should be more prone to subvent
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of electric
cars
. Another reason why these vehicles need to be improved is
much
Correct article usage
the much
show examples
 higher carbon footprint one makes when using a car
instead
 of a public vehicle. Regular
cars
 are
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 threat to our planet Earth.
On the other hand
, investing in more sustainable public infrastructure could be
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 efficient way to slow down pollution.
For example
, if public
transportation
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 faster and more ecological, more people might consider using it. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 there would be no need of buying a car.
Thus
,
transport
 would become actually cheaper
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a great majority of people and it would encourage them to avoid usage of
cars
. In conclusion, even if they are
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 favourable way of
transport
,
cars
 have
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
 larger carbon footprint than public vehicles. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 should be encouraged in renewing public means of
transport
 as they are
better
Add an article
the better
a better
show examples
 option
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 contributing to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 community. Not only it is more sustainable, but it would be
also
 more economical.
Submitted by nick.winsly on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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