IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that when many imported films or TV programmes are shown inna country,it can improve the country's culture.Others feel that it is better for a country to make and broadcast its own movies and TV shows.Discuss both sides and give your own view

#people #films #tv #programmes #inna #country #culture #broadcast #movies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It's
Add an article
a well
show examples
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 topic that foreign films and television shows have become more popular among citizens in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Add an article
the countries
show examples
 throughout the world.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that,people hold different ideas regarding
this
Linking Words
 and some think it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 culture while others feel it is better to produce local movies and dramas.In
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 discussion ,I am going to discuss two sides and suggest my own idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 watch television as
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 hobby.
Therefore
Linking Words
 movies and TV shows directly affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyles in various ways.If there are plenty of foreign shows on TV ,they bring
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cultures
o f
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 different countries to our
door step
Correct your spelling
doorstep
show examples
.In Sri Lanka,Indian and Korean mega series
broadcast
Add a missing verb
are broadcast
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
tv channels.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
visitors gain experience about cultures without visiting those countries.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
 it will help to improve some aspects of their lives.
Secondly
Linking Words
,citizens can learn about their own culture by watching local films and shows.And
also
Linking Words
 through the development of local production of those programmes
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy will be raised.
For example
Linking Words
 , nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Korean mega series are popular among younger generations across the
global
Replace the word
globe
show examples
,
Korea
Correct word choice
and Korea
show examples
 earn lots of profit.When
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 regarding
this
Linking Words
 point,quality local products
also
Linking Words
 can attribute to
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 up
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are lots of views on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television shows,both local and foreign movies and dramas affect
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 culture. According to my point of view.,both are essential and it's
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 to handle those programmes carefully.
Submitted by nayomiathukorala40 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: