Some people believe that women should be able to join their country's army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, society

think

Change the verb form

thinks

show examples

that

women

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

army as well as police

departman

Correct your spelling

department

departments

since so many people start to want gender equality

for

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show examples

everything.

However

Linking Words

, others believe that those are the works which

men

Use synonyms

can only

work

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views and give a logical conclusion. On the one hand,

women

Use synonyms

's participation in those jobs

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

some beneficial effects.

To begin

Linking Words

with, job opportunities for females will increase.

For instance

Linking Words

, in the modern world, girls can only

work

Use synonyms

in some companies and most of the time they get less salary than their male workmates. If the government let

women

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

army

Correct article usage

the army

show examples

and police forces, they can prove themselves and

finally

Linking Words

get a good salary.

Consequently

Linking Words

, females' wages will increase all over the world and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

single ones will live easier without a husband.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend has

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain cons, too.

First

Linking Words

of all, only

men

Use synonyms

have been working in those professions for many years.

Therefore

Linking Words

, males are the only ones who can do

aforementioned

Correct article usage

the aforementioned

show examples

jobs professionally.

Men

Use synonyms

gained a lot of

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

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in the past years since they have seen plenty of wars as well as crimes. Even in the evolution theory, we can see that boys' psychology as well as bodies are formed for those careers and they are able to do them better than

women

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, owing to males' special features and experience, it is better to leave these jobs for

men

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. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that it can be really useful for

women

Use synonyms

's future life and career;

nonetheless

Linking Words

, it is very dangerous to give those

work

Use synonyms

women

Use synonyms

as it is risky and some humans die because of it. In my opinion, only

men

Use synonyms

must keep doing those things as in the past because it is less risky than trying new things.

a.mammadzadaFri Jan 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Some people believe that women should be able to join their country's army and police forces. Others think that only men should be allowed to work in these areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal life. Does the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.

It is inevitable that as technology develops, cultures must be lost. Technology and traditions are incompatible- you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

it is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computer technology in education and give your opinion.