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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the country side. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#city #life #country #side
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Some
people
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 say that
people
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,
wholive
Correct your spelling
who live
 in a
city
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can get more profit than
people
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live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in
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Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
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.
This
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 essay aims to
erabolate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 on the benefit of the aforementioned,
furthermore
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 opposite statement, and I describe my opinion.
To begin
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 with, if
people
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 live in a
city
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, they can spend
confotable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 life relatively.
This
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 is because, in the
city
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, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a lot of
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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along
Correct your spelling
alongside
show examples
side
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, we can go shopping and we can get as easier
what
Correct word choice
as
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they
Correct pronoun usage
we
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 want.
For example
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,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a person, who
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 in Tokyo, is don't have to take about 20 minutes to go shopping. They can go within 15
minitutes
Correct your spelling
minutes
 at least, so they can use more
time
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 efficiently.
People
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 cannot buy
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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time
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, so saving
time
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 is the most
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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 to
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in the
city
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. When it comes to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
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,
people
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 can save their money.
This
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 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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 price of land is quite lower than
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
city
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, if we live in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
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, we can feel good nature
such
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 as sunlight, wind, a river and so on without traffic noise.
For example
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, if we live in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 countryside,
such
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 as Tottori
prefecuture
Correct your spelling
prefecture
,
where
Correct word choice
which
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 is the lowest population area in Japan, we can buy a big house
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in Tokyo.
This
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 is the most profit to live in local
side
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. From my perspective, it is good for me to live in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
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. The reason is that my work is
IT
Change preposition
in IT
show examples
 engineer. So if I can use the internet, I can work
whrerever
Correct your spelling
wherever
 I go.
Moreover
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, nowadays, developed online shopping.
Therefore
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, I can buy products
what
Correct word choice
that
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 I want even though go out as long as I can use the internet. Plots cost is the highest for human living, but If I live in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
countyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
, I can suppress it.
Therefore
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 I cannot find out a drawback when I live in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the country
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country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
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. In conclusion, I reiterate my view that if
people
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 live in a
city
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, they can get more
time
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 according to they will
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not have to go out
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping. Whereas, if
people
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 live in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
, they can save money.
In addition
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, in my case, If I live in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
, I can spend
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 life because I do not have to go out originally.
Submitted by euler0279 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
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  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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