IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not Get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

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In today's world,
people
Use synonyms
 dedicate a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 and do not
alocate
Correct your spelling
allocate
locate
 much dedication to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their free
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 behaviour has negative effects
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
health
Use synonyms
 conditions.
However
Linking Words
, there is a series of changes that can be done to improve
this
Linking Words
 situation and I will
explaing
Correct your spelling
explain
 them
next
Linking Words
. We are living our lives
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an incredibly fast speed which means we are not taking care properly of our
health
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 and imagen. What is more,
people
Use synonyms
 live their lives in a constant stress mode as
result
Add an article
a result
the result
show examples
 of having to respond to obligations
such
Linking Words
 as
mortgache
Correct your spelling
mortgage
mortgages
, college,
medical
Correct word choice
and medical
show examples
 insurance just to mention some of them. It is very common to see members of the community working more than eight hours per day seated in front of the computer; by the
time
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 they finished
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their obligations, it is night
time
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 and they are tired to go to the gym or to do
other type
Change the wording
another type
other types
show examples
 of exercise. The long hours at
work
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 and the pressure of keeping their goals, make the population stay in a rat roulet, where
health
Use synonyms
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as
bood
Correct your spelling
blood
pressuare
Correct your spelling
pressure
 and cholesterol are
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 every year
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 matter.
However
Linking Words
, there are a number of alternatives for everyone if they want to change
this
Linking Words
 habit. Implementing regular breaks at
work
Use synonyms
 will allow
people
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 to go to the gym in the middle of the eight hours
work
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 shifts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, companies could organize events
such
Linking Words
 as yoga, so everyone can relax and recharge
batteries
Correct pronoun usage
their batteries
show examples
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of studies showing that
this
Linking Words
 type of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 at
work
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contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 to
a better levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better level
better levels
show examples
 of motivation and an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
levels of productivity.
Finally
Linking Words
, another option could be that companies
instals
Correct your spelling
install
show examples
 gyms on their
permises
Correct your spelling
premises
 so employees can use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 after
work
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that measures can be taken to reduce
health
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 problems, increase
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work's
Change noun form
work
show examples
satisfaccion
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 and improve the quality of life of many
people
Use synonyms
 around the world.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
What to do next:
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