IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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Nowadays in four corners of
this
Linking Words
 tumultuous world, in some
of
Change preposition
apply
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countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 people prefer to buy a house or an apartment substitute
to
Change preposition
of
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 renting
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In my solid
opinion
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opinion,
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 it is a repercussion of the price volatilities meanwhile it is a positive situation. It is crystal clear that nations want to be comfortable and do not be concerned about
financial
Correct pronoun usage
their financial
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 future but in many countries, they have to fight with hard economic situations. Not only cause
expenditure’s
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expenditure
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 increase anxiety but
also
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 it is the main reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why people buy
Use synonyms
home
Correct your spelling
homes
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.
instead
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 of renting that. By way of example, in my
country
Add a comma
country,
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 most
of
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apply
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families have their own
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 because they
scare from
Wrong verb form
are scared of
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 being homeless. One of my friends said,
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 we did not have …
home
Use synonyms
, we pay a lot each month for rent. Having a property
for
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of
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 your own is better absolutely. Indeed, if you buy something, you will be its owner and under no circumstance may you lose that unless sell it.
In addition
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, your family members can inherit that
home
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 or property after your death and they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
force
Wrong verb form
forced
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 to make
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
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for having
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to have
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 an appropriate residence so you can kill two birds with one stone
by
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apply
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this
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 way. So, from a realistic
view
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view,
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 it is a positive situation.
For instance
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, in my society many youngsters have an inherited
home
Use synonyms
 and they can
investigate
Verb problem
spend
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 their money
Change preposition
in
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 lucrative job
instead
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 of
Wrong verb form
paying
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pay
Wrong verb form
paying
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 for
Correct article usage
a house
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house
Correct article usage
a house
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.
To sum up
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, As discussed in the previous paragraphs, some individuals would rather buy a
home
Use synonyms
 because of the economy’s
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
show examples
 and it is a beneficial trend in my opinion
due to
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 the reasons which I have explained.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the logical structure is clear and that ideas flow from one to the next with appropriate transitions. Use paragraphs effectively to organize arguments and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of the essay, stating the topic and summarizing the argument or opinion concisely.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with adequate details and examples. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed throughout.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The response should include a clear position throughout the response with a strong conclusion reflecting this position.
task achievement
Provide clear, comprehensive ideas for each part of the prompt. Writing needs to show a clear understanding of the topic with development throughout.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support arguments. Make sure examples are persuasive and directly related to the points being made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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