Some people think that watching TV causes weight problems in children. Do you agree with this view? What solution you can suggest to tackle children’s weight problem?

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Many people find the cause of children’s obesity in watching Tv. I think that watching

television

Use synonyms

is not the primary cause of the

weight

Use synonyms

problems of kids, but can be an issue if there is overtime in staring at it. In

this

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essay, I will give more detail on how extent I agree or disagree with

this

Linking Words

affirmation and I will look for some solution to weigh the matter.

To begin

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with, I think the problem is not just merely watching the

television

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, but the overtime passed on it. In fact, if a child pass too many hours in front of a technological dispositive, he will not have time to spend

Change preposition

show examples

activities that could stimulate his metabolism. Nowadays, it is not rare to find kids of 4-5 years who already know how to use proper

technology

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technique

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this

Linking Words

happens because more often parents leave them staring at the machinery, to have some more time for themselves.

Besides

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, I think that another reason why child gains

weight

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is the constant presence of fast food on the territory. Eating there is faster,

therefore

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in a daily routine where we are all busy with jobs and other activities, lead

person

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a person

the person

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to eat there,

instead

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of thinking of a salutary diet, causing

weight

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issue,

such

Linking Words

as obesity. So, I can say that I agree

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with

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that statement, which say that watching

television

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bring

weight

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problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

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, but I can not totally agree because it is not the only reason. Finding a solution, I can suggest

to teach

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teaching

show examples

child

Add an article

the child

a child

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eating

Wrong verb form

eat

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salutary and having some

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

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different from just using machinery and watching

television

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such

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as make sport,

for

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example

Add the comma(s)

,example

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swimming.

Furthermore

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, I believe that even the government should address

this

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issue, prompt more activities on the territory,

such

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as group games and limit

the

Correct article usage

apply

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eating at fast food under a certain age. To conclude, I’m firmly convinced that

bot

Correct your spelling

both

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parents and government act

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show examples

regulate

Change the verb form

regulating

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gain

weight

Use synonyms

, kids could be healthier.

frinfri93Sat Jan 14 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Some people think that watching TV causes weight problems in children. Do you agree with this view? What solution you can suggest to tackle children’s weight problem?

Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?