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Band 2.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
People
 have different viewpoints on whether
music
 is a great
media
Fix the agreement mistake
medium
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 to gather various
people
 together. I believe that
music
 is a great opportunity to bond our connection. To start with, nowadays,
music
 has become part of our life, which is ubiquitous.
People
 listen to
music
 when travelling or at home. When dining outside, it is
easily
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easy
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 to hear
music
 being played in the restaurant. It is a good way that helps individuals start a conversation and bring groups together.
For instance
,
people
 who have similar favour of
music
 are likely to be friends since
music
 has become their common language.
On the other hand
, some may dispute that they have no interest in
music
.
However
, I reckon that it is only
they
Correct word choice
because they
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 have not found their
favourable
Replace the word
favorite
show examples
 type of
music
 yet. Once individuals discover their
fonds
Replace the word
fondness
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
music
, they are able to make connections through
music
. I suggest that with the magic power of
music
,
people
 will get closer naturally. In conclusion, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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 ages and cultures,
music
 is likely to bring
people
 closer.
Submitted by bb12050512 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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