Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued
that is
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more advantageous to increase the price of an unhealthy processed stock that has much carbohydrate content in the product, and
therefore
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a lot of
people
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
diseases. I completely agree with
this
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opinion and think that sugary
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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should be made expensive to decrease
people
Use synonyms
to consume less
sugar
Use synonyms
.
First
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of all, our
body
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has
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
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portion
Fix the agreement mistake
portions
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to use
sugar
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.
Everyday
Replace the word
Every day
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we are just allowed to consume about 2
spoon
Change to a plural noun
spoons
show examples
. Consuming plenty of sugary products for years,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings bad
effect
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effects
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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such
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as
diabetes
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. Because
diabetes
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makes
community
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the community
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to
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apply
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get unexplained weight loss
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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at the
first
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we feel
confuse
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confused
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what
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about what
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happen to our
body
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until
doctor
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a doctor
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diagnoses that we get
diabetes
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.
In other words
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,
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people
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for people
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in
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with
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diabetes
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insufficient insulin prevents the
body
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from getting glucose from the
blood’s
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blood
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cells to use
a
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apply
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energy.
This
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is why it is
imporant
Correct your spelling
important
to encourage
people
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to consume less
sugar
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for our health.
Secondly
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, buying food and drink product that has
high
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a high
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level of
sugar
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frequently,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes us
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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a lot of money that acquire with hard work. Especially as the price getting more expensive, we need to spend much more money just
for
Change preposition
to
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buy
unhealhty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
things.
For instance
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,
my self
Correct pronoun usage
I
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always
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend
Change the verb form
spent
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my saving
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
unhealthy
Add an article
the unhealthy
an unhealthy
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thing
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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makes me has
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
amount of saving.
Thus
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, the advantage of
encourage
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encouraging
show examples
consume sugary products makes us a lot of saving
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the end month. To include, I
strong
Replace the word
strongly
show examples
agree with making pricey sugary products because that
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
show examples
for us to keep our health and save money for better future health.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
What to do next:
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