Many children today are exposed to violent video games and TV programmes. How harmful is this? What can be done to fight this problem?

#children #video #games #tv #programmes #fight

The problem of

this

notion is increasing by leaps and bounds, youngsters are exposing

this harmful online applications

Change the determiner

this harmful online application

these harmful online applications

show examples

. In my, opinion we have numerous methods and techniques to tackle

this

dilemma. In

this

essay, we will

further

elaborate on the quick fix of

this

trend and

thus

will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of solutions we will

further

explain in

this

arguments

Fix the agreement mistake

argument

show examples

but the most preponderant one is that the government should

banned

Change the verb form

ban

show examples

this kinds

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of games, videos, and, programmes. One sure example is that parents use precious feature child lock in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile phones. Another striking method is that

outdoors

Change the word

outdoor

show examples

games

such

as cricket, basketball, and, football plays a vital role because when

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

these sports so they have no time for these hazardous activities.

Moreover

, a survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford revealed that numerous skills

such

as playing guitar, swimming, and, mount climbing can reduce the potential influence of

this

trend. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems is that YouTube and Facebook should be banned because most of the

above mentioned

Add a hyphen

above-mentioned

show examples

materials

easily

Add a missing verb

are easily

show examples

available on these apps. Moving

further

, it is pertinent to mention that the article published in the eminent newspaper depicts that the higher authorities of America start new classes and groups to tackle

this affairs

Change the determiner

this affair

these affairs

show examples

. To sum up, according to the argument aforementioned above, we can find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

adequate solution

Change preposition

show examples

this

issue and the potential influence of

this

notion should be decreased by leaps and bounds.

Submitted by naffey07 on Sun Jan 15 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Obesity is a rampant issue that is plaguing our society. There had been numerous studies proving that obesity is the cause for many health problems. I personally disagree with introducing more physical education in school. Looking into the weak correlation between a child's education and their health habits, we can deduce the real problem at hand, and I will discuss that in the following paragraphs.
6.5
band
You are going to move out of your apartment in a English-speaking country. Your landlord is a very good person, who has assisted you a lot during your stay. Meanwhile, your friend would like to rent the flat after you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, •Let your landlord know that you will be leaving •Thank you landlord for his/her help •Tel him/her about your friend
How are you? I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to you to inform you that I am moving to the U.S.A next week, and I recommend my close friend to you to consider renting out the apartment after me.
8
band
Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that building libraries is not worthwhile as in today's technological era everybody has internet access so they can gain knowledge at their houses.This essay disagrees with this statement because it gives a study atmosphere and is budget budget-friendly.
5.5
band
Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The contentious discourse surrounding the permissibility of perilous sports or the imposition of prohibitions has ignited fervent debate. While some advocate for stringent bans citing concerns over public welfare, others champion the sacrosanctity of individual liberty in recreational pursuits. Effectuating a judicious equilibrium between safety imperatives and personal freedoms stands as an imperative in navigating this nuanced terrain.
6
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
There are different views about whether ageing people may cause some problems for authorities or if they are practical for society. I admit that the retired may have more benefits, such as transferring information to young people and family gatherings, than their drawbacks, like pensions and community care.

Many children today are exposed to violent video games and TV programmes. How harmful is this? What can be done to fight this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.