Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

#friend #child #music #information #academy #school #teacher #class

Dear Elen, I think it's a great idea, that you want to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

your son Mark

into

Change preposition

show examples

music

school. Let me describe the experience I had in a

music

academy and give you a few suggestions. As you know, I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

studied

Change preposition

show examples

the

music

academy in Amsterdam. It is a well-known institution, that has programmes with a variety of

music

Replace the word

musical

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instruments.

Moreover

, they regularly organise guest courses with the best names in the industry. While it has been ten years since

I've

Unnecessary verb

show examples

graduated, I heard that Mr Smith is still the head of the Piano department. I have

attented

Correct your spelling

attended

his classes, and I highly recommend his course. Not only he has a proven track

Change preposition

apply

show examples

records

Fix the agreement mistake

record

show examples

as a pianist

Add the word(s)

but,

show examples

he is

also

a great teacher. I wish your son all the best in his studies. Let me know how he is progressing. Best regards, V

Submitted by j8d3 on Sun Jan 15 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

147 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enrich
facility
extracurricular
expertise
tailored
nurture
flourish
credentials
enthusiasm
commend
conducive
engagement
versatile
dedication

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Your friend wants to send her/his child to learn music. He/she asked you for some information about the music academy that you went to. Write him/her a letter. You should: - Describe the music school - Suggest a teacher or a class to go to - Explain why you recommend it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Whether or not someone achieves their aims in life is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most of scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?