Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man

There is an opinion that

technology

has helped

people

to become more social. I believe that for certain types of

people

technology

undoubtedly has opened new ways of socialization. But

also

we have become dependent on modern

technology

, losing

real

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

life

connections.

Technology

has made us closer to each other nowadays.

People

are all available by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

phones

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

. Men are using mobile messengers on a daily basis, chatting with other

people

. It is incredible how you can be in touch with someone on the other side of the planet due to

technology

. There are different social media and platforms on the Internet, everybody can choose

people

Correct article usage

the people

show examples

you

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

want to talk to. A lot of

people

make

friends

online,

for example

Change preposition

through

show examples

video-games

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

. The diversity of the ways of socialization modern

technology

is offering, is helping

people

to have more

friends

than previous generations.

On the other hand

real

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

life

connections started to devalue. It can be seen in real

life

how a group of

friends

glance at their

phones

while they are spending time together. Almost everyone in the subway stares at their

phones

. Even couples go to bed with

phones

in their hands.

Technology

and smartphones

in particular

Change the verb form

are

show examples

disrupting society, making us feel alone – interacting with our gadgets and not with each other. There is no need to keep

real

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

life

connections with

friends

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because social media has created an illusion that everybody is close. Sometimes it could lead to addiction to

phones

. To sum up,

technology

is offering amazing ways

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

to become close together and has a huge influence on our lives.

Thus

, for a lot of

people

Add a comma

,people

show examples

it is difficult to stop watching their

phones

and start to live

real

Add an article

a real

the real

show examples

life

. It is very crucial for everybody to have

balance

Add an article

a balance

show examples

between virtual and real

life

Submitted by klimnikova on Sun Jan 15 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social interaction
connect
communicate
video conferencing
stay in touch
online communities
forums
like-minded individuals
global communication
collaboration
access to information
knowledge
bridge the gap
social isolation
detachment
face-to-face communication
genuine human connection
maintain
real-life interactions
balance

What to do next:

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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

10.Some people think that language school be taught in small classes, while other people think the number of students in a language class does not matter. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Full- time students should not spend a lot of time on studying, but the should be involved in other activities too. To what extend do you agree or disagree?