IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #technology #man
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There is an opinion that
technology
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 has helped
people
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 to become more social. I believe that for certain types of
people
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technology
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 undoubtedly has opened new ways of socialization. But
also
Linking Words
 we have become dependent on modern
technology
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, losing
real
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real-life
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life
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 connections.
Technology
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 has made us closer to each other nowadays.
People
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 are all available by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
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phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
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. Men are using mobile messengers on a daily basis, chatting with other
people
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. It is incredible how you can be in touch with someone on the other side of the planet due to
technology
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. There are different social media and platforms on the Internet, everybody can choose
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 want to talk to. A lot of
people
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 make
friends
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 online,
for example
Linking Words
in
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through
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video-games
Correct your spelling
video games
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. The diversity of the ways of socialization modern
technology
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 is offering, is helping
people
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 to have more
friends
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 than previous generations.
On the other hand
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,
real
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real-life
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life
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 connections started to devalue. It can be seen in real
life
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 how a group of
friends
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 glance at their
phones
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 while they are spending time together. Almost everyone in the subway stares at their
phones
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. Even couples go to bed with
phones
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 in their hands.
Technology
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 and smartphones
in particular
Linking Words
is
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are
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 disrupting society, making us feel alone – interacting with our gadgets and not with each other. There is no need to keep
real
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real-life
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life
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 connections with
friends
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,
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apply
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 because social media has created an illusion that everybody is close. Sometimes it could lead to addiction to
phones
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. To sum up,
technology
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 is offering amazing ways
to
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for
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people
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 to become close together and has a huge influence on our lives.
Thus
Linking Words
, for a lot of
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people
Add a comma
,people
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 it is difficult to stop watching their
phones
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 and start to live
real
Add an article
a real
the real
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life
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. It is very crucial for everybody to have
balance
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a balance
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 between virtual and real
life
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.
Submitted by klimnikova on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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