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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #advantage #outweigh
Nowadays, there are some countries where the
number
 of youth adults is larger than
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
. In my opinion, the benefits of the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 young
people
's population outweigh the drawbacks because young
people
 do not need to pay a higher tax. On the one hand, thanks to the large youthful
people
, the amount of duty is decreasing. Almost all
people
, especially working
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 have to pay a tax, which is not only for social
service
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services
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
 for elder persons' medical expenses. If the proportion of young
people
 increases, these
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 per person will fall, and the burden on young
people
 would become lighter. In the case of Japan,
for example
, older
people
 account for 30% of Japanese, which cause a social problem that many young
people
 do not afford to live
with
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on
show examples
 their salary because of a heavier tax, which is used for elderly
service
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services
show examples
,
such
 as medical fee, elderly care facilities.
On the other hand
, the incline of
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of young
people
 might occur
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
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 job
competitions
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competition
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. Even though the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
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 rises, it does not mean that
number
 of job opportunities rises. Young individuals have to fight to get a working opportunity, and these competitions would become more severe. In developed countries, because of the explosion of the
number
 of young citizens, the proportion of person who lives with insufficient wage is dramatically increasing. On valance, I suppose that the merit of the larger
number
 of young
people
, which means the reduction of young
people
's burden
outweigh
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outweighs
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 than negative points, which means the decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of job opportunities.
Submitted by t.watpot216 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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