IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

:Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time managment. Do you agree or disagree?

#students #period #study #fun #time #managment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Almost
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 prefer to choose
the
Change the word
their
show examples
studies
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and in their free
time
 having
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
fun that manage the
time
 in
this
firstly
,
Studends
Correct your spelling
Students
 Focus and deep work
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 proper
studies
,
Secondly
, they are in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 leisure
time
 fun, like
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 cricket
games
 etc. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 we discussed all the points
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 to manage
time
 during the
studies
.
To begin
 with,Mostly of
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
study
proper
Change the word
properly
show examples
 hard during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
time
 As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
study
time
 and not multitasking
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
studies
time
.
For example
, in India students create deep work
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
whenever, during the
study
 not going to another work. And in our
study
time
 reading new books, etc not using the mobile, We know all the things, I m prefer and agree with
this
 point to all the
children's
Unnecessary verb
children
show examples
 not another's multitasking when in the
study
 room.
Moreover
, some
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 are playing
games
 in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 leisure
time
 like cricket volleyball
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc
another
Replace the adjective
another game
other games
show examples
games
,
this
 is very important and helpful to
children
 they are
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 feeling when play
games
for example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the studies
show examples
studies
Add the comma(s)
,studies
show examples
 have found fun is very good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 health in their
study
time
. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 people prefer to when
Add the particle
to study
show examples
study
Change the verb form
studying
show examples
regular
Change the adjective
regularly
show examples
 they have a certain break and in
this
time
, and using mobile and going to fresh air. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the students when are studying only focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 studying and,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a break is very necessary during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study
time
.
Submitted by mahasingh1154 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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