IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The key solution for the environmental issues is for the current generation to live a less comfortable life to benefit future generations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#generation #life #benefit #future #generations
It is an inevitable truth that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become a controversial talk of
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 era. Since today has constructed diverse industrial companies and
also
 lifestyles, conditions cities, transportation... has changed,
consequently
 some believe that the key solution for
this
 problem is for the current generation to live a less comfortable life to benefit future people. The main agenda of the impending composition is to elaborate my certitude with befitting examples. Beginning with my rationalisation, there are multifarious points to stand with disagreement. The prominent one is government. What it means is they must control their consumption by ordering all of the departments or even forcing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 they can reward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
organisations,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 by several various
work
Change to a plural noun
works
show examples
such
 as
Add an article
a discount
show examples
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 for payments or raising
income
Correct article usage
the income
show examples
Change preposition
of worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
... .
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to exemplify some civilized countries,
governments
Add a missing verb
is governments
show examples
 can encourage or support scientists to manufacture machines,
new
Correct word choice
and new
show examples
 technologies
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
save
Change the form of the verb
saving
show examples
 energy and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. Exploring ahead the topic, one more worth noticing crux is cultural activities. To explicate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
governments can increase the
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 of being environmentally friendly,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 make tv programs,
organize
Wrong verb form
organising
show examples
 local groups as well as
present
Wrong verb form
presenting
show examples
 subjects relevant to the environment in schools... .
In addition
 one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 most significant problems in every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 is air pollution , for
this
 purpose government must increase public transportation by reducing fare , improving quantity bus, subway... . In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 based on
above
Add an article
the above
show examples
 discussion, it is lucid that
less
Correct article usage
a less
show examples
 comfortable life isn't efficient, both governments and people must collaborate, generally control consumption by scientific methods and
moreover
 develop
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 of being environmentally friendly.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: