Some think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

Many people believe that family
time
is not important as spending
time
on their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in order to get a
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
career, while others disagree.
This
essay will discuss both sides as well as my point of view. To spend
time
effectively, many people think that they should work hard to develop their career paths rather than using their
time
with family.
This
is because a successful job
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
their lives stable. They will have
Add an article
a ton
show examples
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
show examples
of money to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their
owns
Replace the word
own
show examples
and even their family. As
Add an article
a financial
show examples
financial
Change the word
financially
show examples
stable, they can buy anything they want or travel anywhere they would like to go.
Moreover
, if any unexpected situation is happen, they will not worry at all since they prepare their reserve money.
Therefore
, they may believe that a successful life is a life that could
supoort
Correct your spelling
support
their families
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
every angle. Others who disagree
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
must spend with their parents, couple and children. There is no happiness like having dinner with family, sharing stories with
Add an article
a couple
the couple
show examples
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
with kids. These are experiences that you could not find from others. Money can not buy these things. I always recall moments I have with my father before he died. I have many things that I want to do with him,
however
, I can not.
Therefore
, those who disagree with
this
opinion may have
this
experience and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not want to regret
anymore
Correct pronoun usage
it anymore
show examples
. In conclusion, having examined both
sided
Replace the word
sides
show examples
, my opinion is that we should allocate our
time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
both work and family effectively.
Consequently
, you would have a
work life-balance
Add a hyphen
work-life-balance
show examples
getting achievement on
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
and having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
time
family
Change preposition
with family
show examples
.
Submitted by ak.porawan on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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