Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#colleges #students #businesses #school #outweigh

It is a common belief that enlistment should begin

business

Add an article

a business

show examples

while they are studying.

However

, there is a persuasive argument that starting a

business

brings more

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

than its benefits, because of

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

requirement

Replace the word

required

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for the job,

strees

Correct your spelling

stress

and hard to have good performance at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college. On the one hand, participating in trading

Change preposition

show examples

an early age helps admission put their ideas into practice and receive many unexpected benefits.

First

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recruitment can compete with other businesses and apply what

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been studied.

Second

, they can face up with many

reality

Replace the word

real

show examples

problems or situations which can not

studied

Change the verb form

be studied

study

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college.

Third

, gaining experience from success or

fail

Replace the word

failure

show examples

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

for their

carrer

Correct your spelling

careers

in the future.

For example

, numerous

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

researches

show that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student who start

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

when they were studying at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school may

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

sooner than others.

Moreover

, their job may be

convinient

Correct your spelling

convenient

because of various

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

from starting a

business

early.

Nevertheless

, the students may suffer from plenty of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drawbacks if they do not know how to balance

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studying at the university.

Business

requires too many hours from themselves so they can get bad marks if not spending enough time

to study

Change the verb form

studying

show examples

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, some

mentality

Replace the word

mental

show examples

problems

such

as stress, overloading and exhaustion

due

Add a missing verb

are due

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overthinking.

For instance

, there are a lot of people who can not graduate college or need to spend a great deal of money to study again.

Therefore

, it wastes their time, money and effort,

although

result

Add an article

the result

show examples

is not good. To sum up, while joining commercial brings students a lot of advantages and relatives which may be

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

, it is undeniable that they should harmony between studying and

business

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Mon Jan 16 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
advantages
outweigh
disadvantages
real-world experience
practical skills
entrepreneurial mindset
creativity
financial independence
job opportunities
personal growth
professional growth
lack of focus
academic
financial risks
uncertainties
negative impact
grades
difficulty balancing
responsibilities
overall opinion
conclusion

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Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?

Newspapers have immense influence on people why? Is it a positive or negative situation?

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.