Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#colleges #students #businesses #school #outweigh

It is a common belief that enlistment should begin

business

Add an article

a business

show examples

while they are studying.

However

, there is a persuasive argument that starting a

business

brings more

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

than its benefits, because of

time

Correct article usage

the time

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requirement

Replace the word

required

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for the job,

strees

Correct your spelling

stress

and hard to have good performance at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college. On the one hand, participating in trading

Change preposition

show examples

an early age helps admission put their ideas into practice and receive many unexpected benefits.

First

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recruitment can compete with other businesses and apply what

have

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has

show examples

been studied.

Second

, they can face up with many

reality

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real

show examples

problems or situations which can not

studied

Change the verb form

be studied

study

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college.

Third

, gaining experience from success or

fail

Replace the word

failure

show examples

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

for their

carrer

Correct your spelling

careers

in the future.

For example

, numerous

researchs

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research

researches

show that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student who start

commercial

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commercials

show examples

when they were studying at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school may

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

sooner than others.

Moreover

, their job may be

convinient

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convenient

because of various

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

from starting a

business

early.

Nevertheless

, the students may suffer from plenty of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drawbacks if they do not know how to balance

with

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apply

show examples

studying at the university.

Business

requires too many hours from themselves so they can get bad marks if not spending enough time

to study

Change the verb form

studying

show examples

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, some

mentality

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mental

show examples

problems

such

as stress, overloading and exhaustion

due

Add a missing verb

are due

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overthinking.

For instance

, there are a lot of people who can not graduate college or need to spend a great deal of money to study again.

Therefore

, it wastes their time, money and effort,

although

result

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the result

show examples

is not good. To sum up, while joining commercial brings students a lot of advantages and relatives which may be

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

, it is undeniable that they should harmony between studying and

business

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Mon Jan 16 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
advantages
outweigh
disadvantages
real-world experience
practical skills
entrepreneurial mindset
creativity
financial independence
job opportunities
personal growth
professional growth
lack of focus
academic
financial risks
uncertainties
negative impact
grades
difficulty balancing
responsibilities
overall opinion
conclusion

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Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

You were absent from an important event held by the company you work for. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Apologize for your absence and explain the reasoning Explain why you had to be at the other event Explain what you will do to catch up

Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.