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Band 5.5

Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is a common belief that
students
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 should begin a business while they are studying.
However
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, there is a persuasive argument that starting a business brings more disadvantages than its benefits, because of the
time
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 required for the job, stress and hard to have good performance at college. On the one hand, participating in trading
in
Change preposition
at
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 an early age helps
students
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 put their ideas into practice and receive many unexpected
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
First
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, the
students
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 can compete with other
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
businesses
 and apply what
have
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has
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 been studied.
Second
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, they can face up with many
reality
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real
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 problems or situations which can not
studied
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be studied
study
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 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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college.
Third
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, gaining experience from success or
fail
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failure
show examples
 is
usefull
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useful
 for their
carrer
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careers
 in the future.
For example
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, numerous
researchs
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research
researches
 show that
the
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apply
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student who start
commercial
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commercials
show examples
 when they were studying at
the
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apply
show examples
school may
became
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become
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
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 sooner than others.
Moreover
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, their job may be
convinient
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convenient
 because of various
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 from starting a
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 early.
Nevertheless
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, the
students
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 may suffer from plenty of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks if they do not know how to balance
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying at the university.
Bussiness
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Business
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 requires too much
time
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 from themselves so they can get bad marks if not spending enough
time
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to study
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studying
show examples
.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, some
mentality
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mental
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 problems
such
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 as stress, overloading and exhaustion
due
Add a missing verb
are due
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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overthinking.
For instance
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, there are a lot of people who can not graduate college or need to spend a great deal of money to study again.
Therefore
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, it wastes their
time
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, money and effort,
although
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result
Add an article
the result
show examples
 is not good. To sum up, while joining commercial brings
students
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 a lot of advantages and relatives which may be useful, it is undeniable that they should harmony between studying and business.

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • advantages
  • outweigh
  • disadvantages
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • entrepreneurial mindset
  • creativity
  • financial independence
  • job opportunities
  • personal growth
  • professional growth
  • lack of focus
  • academic
  • financial risks
  • uncertainties
  • negative impact
  • grades
  • difficulty balancing
  • responsibilities
  • overall opinion
  • conclusion
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