Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#colleges #students #businesses #school #outweigh

It is a common belief that

students

should begin a business while they are studying.

However

, there is a persuasive argument that starting a business brings more disadvantages than its benefits, because of the

time

required for the job, stress and hard to have good performance at college. On the one hand, participating in trading

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an early age helps

students

put their ideas into practice and receive many unexpected

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

First

, the

students

can compete with other

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

businesses

and apply what

have

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has

show examples

been studied.

Second

, they can face up with many

reality

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real

show examples

problems or situations which can not

studied

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be studied

study

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college.

Third

, gaining experience from success or

fail

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failure

show examples

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

for their

carrer

Correct your spelling

careers

in the future.

For example

, numerous

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

researches

show that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student who start

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

when they were studying at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school may

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

sooner than others.

Moreover

, their job may be

convinient

Correct your spelling

convenient

because of various

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

from starting a

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

early.

Nevertheless

, the

students

may suffer from plenty of

the

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apply

show examples

drawbacks if they do not know how to balance

with

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apply

show examples

studying at the university.

Bussiness

Correct your spelling

Business

show examples

requires too much

time

from themselves so they can get bad marks if not spending enough

time

to study

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studying

show examples

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, some

mentality

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mental

show examples

problems

such

as stress, overloading and exhaustion

due

Add a missing verb

are due

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overthinking.

For instance

, there are a lot of people who can not graduate college or need to spend a great deal of money to study again.

Therefore

, it wastes their

time

, money and effort,

although

result

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the result

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is not good. To sum up, while joining commercial brings

students

a lot of advantages and relatives which may be useful, it is undeniable that they should harmony between studying and business.

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Tue Jan 17 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
advantages
outweigh
disadvantages
real-world experience
practical skills
entrepreneurial mindset
creativity
financial independence
job opportunities
personal growth
professional growth
lack of focus
academic
financial risks
uncertainties
negative impact
grades
difficulty balancing
responsibilities
overall opinion
conclusion

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Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar.

In the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?