Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#colleges #students #businesses #school #outweigh

It is a common belief that

students

should begin a business while they are studying.

However

, there is a persuasive argument that starting a business brings more disadvantages than its benefits, because of the

time

required for the job, stress and hard to have good performance at college. On the one hand, participating in trading

Change preposition

show examples

an early age helps

students

put their ideas into practice and receive many unexpected

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

First

, the

students

can compete with other

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

businesses

and apply what

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been studied.

Second

, they can face up with many

reality

Replace the word

real

show examples

problems or situations which can not

studied

Change the verb form

be studied

study

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college.

Third

, gaining experience from success or

fail

Replace the word

failure

show examples

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

for their

carrer

Correct your spelling

careers

in the future.

For example

, numerous

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

researches

show that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

student who start

commercial

Fix the agreement mistake

commercials

show examples

when they were studying at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school may

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

sooner than others.

Moreover

, their job may be

convinient

Correct your spelling

convenient

because of various

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

from starting a

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

early.

Nevertheless

, the

students

may suffer from plenty of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drawbacks if they do not know how to balance

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studying at the university.

Bussiness

Correct your spelling

Business

show examples

requires too much

time

from themselves so they can get bad marks if not spending enough

time

to study

Change the verb form

studying

show examples

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, some

mentality

Replace the word

mental

show examples

problems

such

as stress, overloading and exhaustion

due

Add a missing verb

are due

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overthinking.

For instance

, there are a lot of people who can not graduate college or need to spend a great deal of money to study again.

Therefore

, it wastes their

time

, money and effort,

although

result

Add an article

the result

show examples

is not good. To sum up, while joining commercial brings

students

a lot of advantages and relatives which may be useful, it is undeniable that they should harmony between studying and business.

Submitted by duongducanh06 on Tue Jan 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
advantages
outweigh
disadvantages
real-world experience
practical skills
entrepreneurial mindset
creativity
financial independence
job opportunities
personal growth
professional growth
lack of focus
academic
financial risks
uncertainties
negative impact
grades
difficulty balancing
responsibilities
overall opinion
conclusion

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your argument with examples and relevant evidence.
Sometimes, when nations develop their technological advances some of the ancient traditions disappear. This, is a terrible consequence, because is important to preserve our identity as a nation. Because of this, I strongly disagree with this statement, and I do so for several reasons that I will develop throughout the essay.
5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
It is often said to the young people that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This essay will suggest that attitude such as never give up and ambitious are the biggest advantages of this, but mental health and the risk of doing some crime are the primary disadvantages
5.5
band
Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is often argued that technology is the reason for unemployed people, while others believe it makes their life easier. Although I agree that technology has an impassive impact on individual life, I think that effect is negative on their work life.
5
band
In many countries today, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than in larger, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?
A growing number of individuals in several nations today prefer living separately or in tiny households in big cities rather than in bigger and extended families. From my personal standpoint, this issue has both benefits and drawbacks aspects.
5.5
band
Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Computers these days play a very important role in everyday life ,especially for working professionals. The use of computers among children would prove positive as it would make them more familiar with the most commonly used machine and simultaneously develop their cognitive skills. Although, there could be negative effects too like being less socially active, and not indulging in outdoor activities which may also lead to risk strain injuries. However, I would disagree that using a computer every day has more negative effects than positive effects on children.

Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries today, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than in larger, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.