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Band 3.5

the best way to reduce crime amongst young people is to teach parents good parenting skill. Do you agree or disargee ?

#crime #people #parents #skill #disargee
Nowadays,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 agree for
children
 should be put in jail.While there are some
people
 who disagree with
this
, I still consent with
this
 statement for a few reasons that I will consider in the following lines of
this
 essay
To begin
 with, I agree that young
people
 must teach their backgrounds good skills. On the one hand, many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 have that if you do not raise your
children
 they may fine you if your
children
 commit robbery.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 I remember one of my teachers said that
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the Netherlands there was
such
 a thing
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
boy
was not nurture
Change the verb form
was not nurtured
show examples
 and he stole from a
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
 something and his parents were fined
On the other hand
,
this
 is the best way
fine
Change preposition
to fine
show examples
people
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 society and parents will raise their
children
 to avoid paying the fine and
children
 learning not to again.
This
 can
also
an
Add a missing verb
be an
show examples
eye opener
Add a hyphen
eye-opener
show examples
 for
people
 because they will be tasked with hard work, making them
regret
Correct pronoun usage
itregret
show examples
.
For instance
, in the United
States
Add a comma
,States
show examples
 there is
such
 a law
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
children
 will commit robbery can
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
even
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
 in a juvenile colony
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 5 days to 15 In conclusion, I believe that
children
 will not commit robbery and they obey their parents
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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