The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.”
A number of western countries suffer from
children
's obesity
problems. It has increased by almost 20% since 2012. The reason why overweight children
in western society has
increased is Change the verb form
have
becuase
sodium and fat consumption has Correct your spelling
because
been
increased.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Obesity
can cause serious disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
to
Change preposition
in
children
. Research from the University of Utah illustrates 80% of overweight children
suffer childhood
Change preposition
from childhood
obesity
. Also
, Dr.
John Doe, Change the punctuation
Dr
professor
Correct article usage
a professor
of
the University of Lahore speak most of Change preposition
at
Add an article
the Pakish
Pakish
overweight Correct your spelling
Parish
children
will suffer diabetes
and cancer in the future.
Change preposition
from diabetes
Also
Add a comma
,Also
obesity
can be spreaded
to Correct your spelling
spread
another
family members. When Correct quantifier usage
other
Correct article usage
a son
son
or Fix the agreement mistake
sons
daughter
of Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
the
Correct article usage
apply
households
Fix the agreement mistake
household
are
facing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
obesity
, the number of their parents and siblings face obesity
together.
The Seoul National Universities' researchers researched 60% of South Korean overweighted younger's parents and siblings suffer obesity
together. It is why Change preposition
from obesity
obesity
harms our societies.
Thus
, how can children
not face obesity
? First
of all, they should avoid a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
high
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
calorie
foods
.
High
Add a hyphen
High-calorie
calorie
foods
, especially the
fast food, can make our bodies easily Correct article usage
apply
overweighted
. By avoiding Wrong verb form
overweight
high
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
calorie
foods
, the danger will decrease rapidly.
Second
, children
should avoid the
sodium and intake Correct article usage
apply
Kalium
. Kalium Change preposition
of Kalium
help
our body to outtake sodium easily so that our body cannot be overweight easily. Change the verb form
helps
Also
, parent's
abilities are most important to save their kids from Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
the
Correct article usage
apply
obesity
. Moms and dads should take care of childrens'
Change noun form
children's
neutrition
. By taking care of Correct your spelling
nutrition
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
meal
, the danger of Fix the agreement mistake
meals
obesity
will decrease rapidly.
In conclusion, overweight
and Add a missing verb
being overweight
obesity
cause serious Replace the word
obese
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
to
Change preposition
in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
children
.
Children
should avoid themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
high
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
calorie
foods
and parents should take care of their kids from danger
of Add an article
the danger
obesity
.Submitted by soominkim0618 on
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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