The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.”
A number of western countries suffer from
children
's Use synonyms
obesity
problems. It has increased by almost 20% since 2012. The reason why overweight Use synonyms
children
in western society Use synonyms
has
increased is Change the verb form
have
becuase
sodium and fat consumption has Correct your spelling
because
been
increased.
Unnecessary verb
apply
Obesity
can cause serious Use synonyms
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
to
Change preposition
in
children
. Research from the University of Utah illustrates 80% of overweight Use synonyms
children
suffer Use synonyms
childhood
Change preposition
from childhood
obesity
. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
Dr.
John Doe, Change the punctuation
Dr
professor
Correct article usage
a professor
of
the University of Lahore speak most of Change preposition
at
Add an article
the Pakish
Pakish
overweight Correct your spelling
Parish
children
will suffer Use synonyms
diabetes
and cancer in the future.
Change preposition
from diabetes
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
obesity
can be Use synonyms
spreaded
to Correct your spelling
spread
another
family members. When Correct quantifier usage
other
Correct article usage
a son
son
or Fix the agreement mistake
sons
daughter
of Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
the
Correct article usage
apply
households
Fix the agreement mistake
household
are
facing Correct subject-verb agreement
is
obesity
, the number of their parents and siblings face Use synonyms
obesity
together.
The Seoul National Universities' researchers researched 60% of South Korean overweighted younger's parents and siblings suffer Use synonyms
Use synonyms
obesity
together. It is why Change preposition
from obesity
obesity
harms our societies.
Use synonyms
Thus
, how can Linking Words
children
not face Use synonyms
obesity
? Use synonyms
First
of all, they should avoid Linking Words
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
high
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
calorie
Use synonyms
foods
.
Use synonyms
High
Add a hyphen
High-calorie
calorie
Use synonyms
foods
, especially Use synonyms
the
fast food, can make our bodies easily Correct article usage
apply
overweighted
. By avoiding Wrong verb form
overweight
high
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
calorie
Use synonyms
foods
, the danger will decrease rapidly.
Use synonyms
Second
, Linking Words
children
should avoid Use synonyms
the
sodium and intake Correct article usage
apply
Kalium
. Kalium Change preposition
of Kalium
help
our body to outtake sodium easily so that our body cannot be overweight easily. Change the verb form
helps
Also
, Linking Words
parent's
abilities are most important to save their kids from Fix the agreement mistake
parents'
the
Correct article usage
apply
obesity
. Moms and dads should take care of Use synonyms
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
neutrition
. By taking care of Correct your spelling
nutrition
childrens'
Change noun form
children's
meal
, the danger of Fix the agreement mistake
meals
obesity
will decrease rapidly.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
overweight
and Add a missing verb
being overweight
Use synonyms
obesity
cause serious Replace the word
obese
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
to
Change preposition
in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
children
.
Use synonyms
Children
should avoid Use synonyms
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
high
Add a hyphen
high-calorie
calorie
Use synonyms
foods
and parents should take care of their kids from Use synonyms
danger
of Add an article
the danger
obesity
.Use synonyms
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.