Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It has been argued by few that popular personalities can make it easy to decrease the major problems by attracting the attention of international
aid
organisations.
However
, others opined that famous people cannot make
this
happen.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints, and I will state my opinion with a reasonable conclusion.
To begin
with, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
people have high standards and approaches and they
also
an
Add a missing verb
have an
show examples
appreciation for others in our society.
Moreover
, they attract our youth in many ways and the young population do the same as they do.
For example
, a famous man Amitab
Bachaan
Correct your spelling
Bachman
, do a number of TV shows and aids, as he organise a show called " who become the Millionaire". Apart from that, if these famous artists will draw the attention of local organisations towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social problems like poverty, lack of education and hospitality in society, it will surely decrease these problems one day.
On the other hand
, some folks have opposite viewpoints. They opined that these personalities just work for their benefit
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
for the local population.
Moreover
, some famous individuals don't like to converse with
aid
organisations which can worsen the problem.
For instance
, in many films, celebrities imposed negative views on those
aid
groups and after ,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they don't sport each other in
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
. So, how can the government listen to them
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
In conclusion, according to me,
although
the prominent stars help in some ways to draw the attention of
aid
agencies,
this
also
makes it hard in many ways.
Submitted by kaursandeep79561 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international aid organizations
  • draw attention to
  • important problems
  • celebrities
  • make the problems seem less important
  • influence
  • raise funds
  • public awareness
  • engagement
  • inspire
  • helping those in need
  • distract from
  • real issues
  • deep understanding
  • advocate for
  • overshadow
  • work of aid organizations
  • shallow
  • superficial understanding
  • sensationalize
  • own gain
  • genuinely beneficial
  • caution must be exercised
What to do next:
Look at other essays: