The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.”

Obesity
is a serious issue which has been increasingly observed in the
last
decade.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
this
is an alarming problem as more
children
are seen to be overweight compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults. What are the root causes of
obesity
and what are the
implecations
Correct your spelling
implications
for their future? One of the predominant reasons for
children
being overweight is their diet intake.
In other words
,
children
consuming non-balanced diets which are
propotionally
Correct your spelling
proportionally
proportionately
unhealthy is seen to be one of the causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
obesity
.
Mutiple
Correct your spelling
Multiple
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
say that over 60% of the
children
from the west, aged between 5 and 10, are overweight;
this
may be due to the high intake of carbohydrates, found in fast-food.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, lack of time
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
by
children
on physical activities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
seen to be a cause for
obesity
as well. Today,
children
are more often seen to be addicted to video games, forcing them to stay
indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
show examples
,
consequently
making them gain weight. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of reasons why
obesity
could cause serious
ramification
Fix the agreement mistake
ramifications
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters.
Firstly
,
obesity
will cause a detrimental effect in the future, deteriorating their health.
Moreover
,
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
is a significant seed for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.
Submitted by ramyensangheran12 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
What to do next:
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