some animals have came to extinction, there is no reason of protecting them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that it is no reason to protect

animals

experiencing extinction. I can entirely not agree with the idea. For various reasons, it would be necessary for the eco-environment to be balanced to save creatures from damage.

Firstly

, we must keep the diversity of species for a sustainable

ecosystem

Fix the agreement mistake

ecosystems

show examples

in the world,

such

as plants, soil,

animals

, and so on. They interact and have an effect on daily life.

Secondly

, it has a positive impact on mental health. We do our best to protect some endangered

animals

. Because the fast pace development of society leads to people communicating less with each other, we significantly increased in choosing a pet company with us to release anxiety and stay pleasant every day. The

animals

become our family members, so if we keep indifferent to them, which is unacceptable in morals and emotions,

hence

that we take serious measures to protect them.

For example

, establish an animal protection organization and

fund raising

Correct your spelling

fundraising

show examples

so far as to improve legal to benefit them. In conclusion, protecting

animals

from extinction is making a profound and leashing

impress

Replace the word

impression

show examples

on everyone, because we help them as if help ourselves.

Submitted by fuwei0316 on Wed Jan 18 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

193 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some animals have came to extinction, there is no reason of protecting them. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

Some people think that it is beneficial to travel abroad, but others think it is unnecessary because we have the internet and TV. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are dependent on fast foods as their main meals. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?