IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world.What are the causes of it? what meaaures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem? Give reasons and e.g for your answers

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In recent times, the big issue in the world is the low quality of
water
Use synonyms
. It was caused by the pollution of the environment and deforestation. The community and the government are working together to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is true that pollution is key to reducing the number of clean
water
Use synonyms
. the
water
Use synonyms
 on the
river
Use synonyms
 will contain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bacteria from the litter.
For example
Linking Words
, people in the sub-town often put litter on the
river
Use synonyms
. They do not pay the fee to a
civil
Replace the word
city
show examples
 to bring out their waste.
as a result
Linking Words
, the
river
Use synonyms
 was polluted by organic waste and
also
Linking Words
 plastic waste.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
forest
Correct article usage
the forest
show examples
 in Indonesia was destroyed by local people. they are doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal logging in the
forest
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 activity increased the number of deforestation and decreased
sthe
Correct your spelling
the
 function
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the land. One of the functions
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
forest
Use synonyms
 is to supply
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
water
Use synonyms
. So, if the
forest
Use synonyms
 was destroyed the fresh
water
Use synonyms
 will
reduced
Change the verb form
be reduced
reduce
show examples
. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem we need to work together between the community and the government.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the nation must change
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 bad habits into a green lifestyle.
As a result
Linking Words
, we not only protect the
river
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 supply
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 the environment will be more sustainable.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
govenrment
Correct your spelling
government
 made rules to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal in the tropical
forest
Use synonyms
. So, the land can continue the function as
supplier
Add an article
a supplier
show examples
 the clean
water
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. In a nutshell, fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is an important key in life. The stock can decrease if the community
putting
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
litter on the
river
Use synonyms
 and continuing of illegal activity in the forests. The government and the nation must work together to protect the supply of clean
water
Use synonyms
.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Irrigation
  • Water scarcity
  • Contaminants
  • Desalination
  • Drought
  • Water conservation
  • Aquifers
  • Water footprint
  • Rainwater harvesting
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