IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the internet transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problem that did not exit before. what are the most serious problem associated with the internet and what soluction you can suggest?.

#internet #information #exit #soluction
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it is certainly true that the internet makes it easier to send and
received
Wrong verb form
receive
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 details in a few minutes, on the other ,hand there are some activities that are harmful that have not happened before. after providing
carefully
Change the word
careful
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analysing
Correct your spelling
analysis
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 of the
problem
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 has risen so sharply in the world.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 shall suggest a number of ways to tackle the
problem
Use synonyms
. in
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
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,
this
Linking Words
 is one of the worst evils. there are many reasons which are to be blamed for it. the first main reason is
Correct article usage
an
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irregular network. because these networks are providing illegal content to users
such
Linking Words
 as blue movies, pages and news. mostly these websites visited by
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
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 groups, after visiting these websites they don't focus on studying and start thinking about
this
Linking Words
 content, even start searching same content on other platforms. The second significant reason is hacking.
technology
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 made to make life easier but few ethics are used in the wrong way. it is called hackers. they hack a
government
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 security
system
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 with the help of
technology
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,
then
Linking Words
 they start blackmailing authorities for realising some criminals from jail and ask for some amount to protect is data.
in addition
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to
Change preposition
apply
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 some masses are offering jobs to
people
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,
while
Linking Words
 these
people
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 ask money for to provide jobs in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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multinational
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 like Amazon, tata and
reliance
Capitalize word
Reliance
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.
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
problem
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 can be looked after well by several precautionary measures, first and foremost solution is the authorities are required to apply strict rules for safety.
whereas
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 don`t have to fear about police and the
government
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.
government
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 should put on age group verification for all networks. if age is verified which network is required for access? ,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 it's not working.
thereafter
Linking Words
, some other measures like the
government
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 need to improve a security
system
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, so these
people
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 can`t hack the
government
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system
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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government
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 can track these
people
Use synonyms
 within hours. if they trying to hack a
system
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. these days parents are very busy in life, and even if they need to focus on children's activities, they need to check his/her mobile regularly
based
Verb problem
apply
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this
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 be implemented to reduce the several effects of the mentioned
problem
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. conclusion,
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
 there are several legitimate concerns regarding the internet,
thus
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 most
Change preposition
of
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the community
are used
Wrong verb form
uses
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Add an article
the
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internet, and they are happy with the
technology
Use synonyms
 but
due to
Linking Words
 a few ethics who do illegal activities, folk can`t believe
technology
Use synonyms
 is Wrong, if the above mentioned taken into consideration, none septums insurmountable.
Submitted by nsalmanoor1 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. Try to organize your ideas in a more structured way to improve clarity and coherence.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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