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Writing Samples /
Band 5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #diet #outweigh
There is an increasing trend for people in some nations to have vegetarian foods for their meals.
This
 essay thinks that the benefits do not outweigh the drawbacks because
although
 vegetarian diets can reduce
carbon
 footprints, consuming
vegetables
 only may lead to nutritional deficiencies. The main advantage of having a vegetarian diet is that
carbon
 emissions can be reduced. Animal agriculture accounts for a significant portion of
carbon
 footprints because
animal
Add an article
the animal
show examples
 feed has to be transported a long way to farmers, and animals release a large amount of
carbon
 dioxide after they eat the feed.
For example
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research by the University of Australia found that around 35% of
carbon
 emissions around the world
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 from animal agriculture, and if everyone eats
vegetables
,
carbon
Correct article usage
the carbon
show examples
 footprint in animal agriculture can be reduced by
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
.
However
,
this
 essay argues that people may not be able to get nutrients which is available only in
meats
 if they solely consume
vegetables
. One disadvantage is that vegetarian diets may cause nutritional deficiencies.
That is
 because
vegetables
 do not contain nutrients or minerals that are available in
meats
, and in the long run
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 may suffer from diseases caused by nutritional deficiencies.
For instance
,
meats
 provide minerals
such
 as iron to strengthen
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
red blood cells. If people do not gain enough iron, their immune systems will be weakened, and in
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 serious
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
, brain functions will be impaired.
Therefore
,
this
 essay believes that a balanced diet with
meats
 and
vegetables
 should be followed. In conclusion,
although
 eating
vegetables
 solely can reduce
carbon
 emissions, unbalanced diets with only
vegetables
 may lead to nutritional deficiency.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vegetarian diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Deforestation
  • Animal welfare
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Balanced intake
  • Societal norms
  • Meat-dominant
  • Sustainable living
  • Plant-based proteins
What to do next:
Look at other essays: