IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments spend an enormous amount of money on renovations of old buildings in large cities. Some believe that this money can be better spent on building new houses and developing roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#governments #amount #money #renovations #buildings #cities #believe #houses #roads
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It is often argued by the people that spending
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 expenditure on preserving traditional buildings is seen as a way of squandering
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 of
tax payers
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taxpayers
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and needs to be spent on providing amenities to the
citzen
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citizen
citizens
 of
this
country
.
Although
, I agree that it is
equlally
Correct your spelling
equally
 important to look after the old buildings as it is a heritage and pride of our
scoiety
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society
. I do not think that spending on
visuaI
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visual
 art is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
moeny
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money
 and I will support my opinion with relevant
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
. On the one hand, spending a
siginifacnt
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significant
 amount of the
goverment
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government
 budget on public
sevice
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services
 like looking after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better education, building a new
residance
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residence
, and making
rodas
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roads
Rodas
, which
determinethe
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determine the
 quality of life that most of our people will have.
For example
, studies have consistently
reveals
Change the verb form
revealed
show examples
 that
country
 with
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 level of literacy is more developed as compared to those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 allocate no money to education.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it is apparent that spending on public services is a worthwhile investment for the
goverment
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government
. Simultaneously, it is equally important to preserve the historical antiques and monuments
builded
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built
show examples
 by our
ancesstors
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ancestors
.
Moreover
,
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 old buildings are playing an important role to
atract
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attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists towards our
country
, and it is an
aternative
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alternative
 way to support our
goverment
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government
 in terms of
exhanging
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exchanging
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign currency. In the end, people will
uderstand
Correct your spelling
understand
 the importance of spending on
histroric
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historic
 items as they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
might at
first
 assume.
For example
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adding monuments or sculptures
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public places will help to remind
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 about the pride of our
country
. So even if
construting
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constructing
 sculpture is not an essential service but there are clear
benifits
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benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 funding them. To sum up,
although
 there are clear
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of ensuring a large amount of investment goes into public services, I do not believe spending money on the arts is a waste of
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
 as
this
also
 provides important
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
. In the future,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should consider budgeting for both.
Submitted by umerasamdi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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