IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we are no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
In our modern life, commercials are widely known by society. Many point out that promotions are beneficial
at
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to
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 induce us to purchase items whereas other individuals argue that
advery
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adversary
 is widely accessible
that
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and that
show examples
 we
are
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apply
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no longer pay attention to it. From my point of view, the utility of marketing is
effective
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an effective
show examples
 method to persuade
customers
 to buy their
products
. On the one hand,
the
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apply
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advertisements are becoming more common all around the world. The main reason
of
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for
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 using promotions is
attracting
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to attract
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 much more
customers
 and many adverts enhance the image of the company.
Moreover
, they inform the
customers
 about their
products
 and convince people that a company's services or
products
 are the best ones.
For instance
,
the
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apply
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tobacco companies became major advertisers in order to sell packaged cigarettes.
This
 company pioneered
the
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apply
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new advertising techniques when they hired Bernays, to create
positive
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a positive
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 association with tobacco smoking .
On the other hand
, these days since technologies
has
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have
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 been developing, marketing widely spreads all
aver
Correct your spelling
over
show examples
 the globe. It is undeniable that as human beings
is
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are
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glimpsing them everywhere, it would
loose
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lose
show examples
 the
affect
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effect
show examples
to
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on
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 human psychology. Take online
adds
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ads
show examples
 as an example, individuals are facing up to
advertise
Wrong verb form
advertising
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 when they visit some
web-sites
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websites
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such
 as
You Tube
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YouTube
show examples
. In conclusion, taking
everythingIn
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everything
everything in
 conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account, I would say that advertisements which
inform
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information
show examples
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new
products
 and services
,
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apply
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 enchant more people. In my opinion, it is the best way to attract
customers
.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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