The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times,
space
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exploration projects have had an important role in protecting our
planet
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Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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. The astronaut who walked first on the moon said that it was a golden milestone in human life, the opponents of the former view,
however
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, argue that they could not find anything beneficial from
this
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as it was an expensive milestone. I disagree with the opponents' view as
space
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exploration has many benefits
such
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as finding new reasons for prevailing diseases, and understanding environmental
pollution
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, and
climate
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change
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.
Apart from
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this
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,
space
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projects help in finding new planets near our galaxy. There are certain reasons for
space
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travel
for protecting
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to protect
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the environment from threats and even from
extinction
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. The prime reason for
this
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is to discover new causes of persistent diseases among people. By
this
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I mean,
during
Correct word choice
that during
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space
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journeys, astronauts have been exposed to radiation and experienced microgravity in
space
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paving the way for some changes in their bodies which are similar to heart disease and age-related problems on our
earth
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. Another pertinent reason is that
space
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projects help to understand the environmental
pollution
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on the
earth
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. To explicate
further
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, by using satellites and high-power microscopes, scientists could measure the amount of
pollution
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like air
pollution
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from fossil fuel fumes on our
planet
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from
space
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.
Apart from
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this
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point, scientists can watch
climate
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change
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by observing the
artic
Correct your spelling
Arctic
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and
antarctic
Capitalize word
Antarctic
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arena with the assistance of high-power lenses. To cite an example, an Indian satellite found out about recent changes in
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earth's
Capitalize word
Earth's
show examples
climate
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1 year ago by a keen observation from
space
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and sent photographs of crucial environmental data to the
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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. As per the photos,
climate
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change
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is increasing day by day by melting arctic and antarctic ice forms
due to
Linking Words
global warming.
Furthermore
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, Another notable need for
space
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programs is that, discovering new planets to live on. To elucidate, our home
earth
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is unique and there are plenty of chances for the
extinction
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of the
earth
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through asteroid collision,
climate
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change
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and pandemic diseases. If we might not find
out
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apply
show examples
solutions for the aforementioned reasons for
extinction
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, finding a new
planet
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is a good idea to survive.
For instance
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, many developed countries have started to find
out
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apply
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new
planet
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which is similar to our
planet
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earth
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in another galaxy. In conclusion, it is stated that
space
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exploration programs are pivotal for mankind even though it is expensive to implement. I believe that
,
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apply
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discovering new threats on the
earth
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is important to the survival of humans from
extinction
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in future.
Submitted by jackjohn0590 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is partially clear, which affects the overall coherence of the essay. The introduction and conclusion are present but require improvement for better cohesion.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the question to some extent, but there is some lack of clarity in presenting the ideas and supporting the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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