IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people believe that university education should focus on the skills of employment for the future. others think they should focus on academic study only .discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #education #focus #skills #employment #future #study
No one can ignore that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 priority for a number of people.
However
, there is an argument that
collages
Correct your spelling
colleges
show examples
 should teach their students the skills that will qualify them
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the job market, some people think that they should give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic studies their
first
 priority. In my point of view, I believe improving their abilities will open the doors for a plethora of opportunities for them. Providing
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 and internships during their higher education will develop numerous types of talents that will qualify them for their upcoming jobs. Nowadays, there is a gap between the graduates’ knowledge and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real job practice, due to the lack of soft and technical skills. To illustrate more, a number of graduate engineers do not have the ability to manage a site or deal with workers;
furthermore
, some of them do not have sufficient information to work on CAD programs, owing to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that they did not learn these skills during their academy.
On the other hand
, some universities like medical and science should focus only
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 academic studies as their career
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic knowledge rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical knowledge.
However
, no one can ignore that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scholastic information is the vital key to
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
 your work, whatever your majority. You will not be a successful scientist or engineer without your scholarly background. To conclude, it is vital to pay
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attention to
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
show examples
 students for work in universities;
in contrast
, no one can neglect the necessity of theoretical learning which have an impact on our career. In my opinion, I think that universities should give efforts to build their students’ abilities.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: